You are browsing the archive for 2010 January.

Random Movie Recommendation: Hors de Prix / Priceless

January 31, 2010 in 5 Second Movie Review, Cinema

DRUNK, FRENCHLook, sometimes we all need a silly movie about pretty people in pretty clothes amid pretty settings. But frequently, romantic comedies suffer from what one might call the Pretty Woman syndrome: sure, it’s fun while one watches it, but afterward one is left with the cold hard reality animating the story – what Rachel Leigh Cook’s character called, in the one good line in She’s All That, “that whole hooker thing.”
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The Detox Diaries, Part 1

January 30, 2010 in Detox Diaries, Drugs, Rants, Reflections

I wish I were writing this as I was sitting in a spa in Costa Rica sipping some fruity concoction after my seaweed wrap – waiting for my sliced papaya – while Lupe gives me reflexology and Juan Carlos rubs my shoulders.  Oh, if it were only about my skin or my weight. Actually, I have been staying close to home (which is full of cat hair and crap Mr. Hagen & I never seem to throw out in a freezing January) detoxing from DRUGS!

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My Dull Life: Wasted at Wal-Mart

January 29, 2010 in My Dull Life, Things Very Necessary

Every once in a while I decide to go to Wal-Mart, usually when I’m too lazy to go all the way to Target. And I usually regret this decision, as my nearest Wal-Mart is the downtown location, frequented by many an unsavory personage (and their unruly offspring). Today I decided to smoke a little weed before venturing forth, as a buffer against any unpleasantness I might encounter.

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Smoke Signals – Friday

January 29, 2010 in Smoke Signals

This is the Smoke Signals – a compilation of links to other, better stuff than this. This might be a regular column if it’s hated enough. Hate’s better than love, as events continue to tell us. So think of this as a swan – a drunken, belligerent swan with a gun and a bottle of whiskey. With a real potty-beak. Yeah, welcome to Smoke Signals – today it’s a dirty, drunken swan who will scream filth into your mind.

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4 Word Album Review – Charlotte Gainsbourg’s IRM

January 28, 2010 in Audiosmoker

Release Date: 01/26/2010 (US)

Label: Elektra

4 Word Review: Leader for year’s best.

Here’s a video of Charlotte performing a cut from the album called “Trick Pony” on Letterman.  Read the rest of this entry →

I Hope This Apple Thing Is Like Fucking Jennifer Aniston

January 26, 2010 in Non-Mathematical Equations

I’m excited about this Apple thing coming. The world seems to be full of death being carried around in endless trucks and we need a distraction. I want the Apple thing to be that distraction. Talking, thinking about, mulling over and maybe writing something on the Apple thing is the perfect thing to distract us from everything. I hope this Apple thing rocks. I hope it rocks Bigtime. Because I need a break. I hope it rocks like fucking Jennifer Aniston.

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The Smokies – Late and Soggy Edition

January 25, 2010 in The Smokie Awards

The Smokies

I wanted to use this week’s Smokies to talk about the meetup at Art Bar, but the lawyers in the room forced us to sign non-disparagement and non-disclosure agreements.  There may have been a pre-nup in there as well, but it was dark and there were a lot of big words.  Let me just say that it was terrific meeting all of you, and I can’t wait for the next one!  I did plan to bestow all of this week’s awards to those in attendance, but most hadn’t written anything this week, which would have made it more difficult to justify.  Without further ado, here are your Smokies:

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How the Evening Will Pan Out

January 23, 2010 in WORDSMOKER MEETUP

If people have any goddamned pocket gizmos and whatnot that will post here, we’ll see about posting updates about the stabbings and fingerings and other -ing words likely to happen tonight.

But, just so’s you know, it will likely start like this: Read the rest of this entry →

Wordsmoker Anthropology – The Ringtone To Assign To Your Mother

January 22, 2010 in Wordsmoker Anthropology

Hey there. A friend of mine – let’s call him “Ricardo” to protect his identity – Ricardo has a pressing, modern dilemma. You see, my good friend Ricardo has a telephone you can carry around with you wherever you go. Indeed, many of us can relate for many of us have these magical things now. They are popular. They are popular because they feature glowing square pictures, and  glowing square pictures have fascinated us for years. These telephones also make sounds.

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