Wordsmoker

You know the old blog post topic about how the word “douchebag” has jumped the shark, and we need to stop using it and/or come up with a substitute? Well that topic has jumped the shark, and it’s time to stop writing about it.

First of all, it’s pointless, because the pejorative use of  “douchebag” (and it’s cousin “douche”) will probably persist forever. Second, this has become one of the most unoriginal blog post topics on the Web: Ever since Emily Gould used it in a terrific, witty Gawker piece she wrote back in 2006, it’s been done to death.

Don’t believe me? Just check out the list of a half-dozen blog posts on the topic (the latest published just yesterday) that I’ve assembled here.

• Douches: Time to Bag it? “We couldn’t help but notice that the trope is now so bitten and tired, it pretty much begs to be called ‘Already Over’ (if Already Over wasn’t Already Over, obvs).” (Emily Gould, Gawker, Nov. 1, 2006)
• Slang Stock Market “I’m shorting the word ‘douche.’ After a strong resurgence in 2005 and showing strong staying power through 2007, its day has come. … Pretty soon even the douches won’t be calling people douches, which is when the stock will completely crash.” (Ricky Van Veen, rickyvanveen.com, April 27, 2007)
• A Moratorium on the Word “Douchebag” “The word has its purpose, sure. But it’s so commonly used that it’s lost its true impact.” (Richard Dorment Esquire.com, June 18, 2008)
• What Insult Should Be The New “Douchebag”? “Can we all just admit that the terms ‘douche,’ ‘douchebag,’ and ‘d-bag’ are starting to wear a little thin? Lindsay at Videogum has long lamented over how she’s tired of the term, and I couldn’t agree more.” (Sara Schaefer, bestweekever.tv, Oct. 16, 2008)
• Farewell, Douchebag “A reader recently suggested that the time has come to retire the term douchebag. We agree.” (Gabriel Snyder, Gawker, Dec. 18, 2008)
• 4 Reasons The Douchebag Has Jumped The Shark “While we’re on the subject of language, I’d like to point out that both the word ‘douchebag’ and the concept it stands for are, like, totally over.” (Anna N., Jezebel, Dec. 10 2009)

Contrary to these blog pronouncements, this piece of slang is not dead, nor will it die anytime soon. It’s been around at least since I was in high school — and I am fucking old, people. I remember referring to Gerald Ford a “douchebag” when he was president. Saturday Night Live did this great skit about “Lord Douchebag” back when Bill Murray and Gilda Radner were still cast members. So we’re talking over 30 years this term has persisted, and it ain’t about to go away now.

In fact, I suspect it never will. It’s become a permanent fixture in the language. You’d probably have better luck getting people to use a new conjunction to replace the word “and” than you would getting them to stop saying “douchebag.”

So I hereby call a moratorium on stories, articles or blog posts that call for a moratorium on the word “douchebag.” We need a new witty topic to keep recycling instead. For example, how about … well, the topic of this post? I’ll bet, between now and 2012, we can post at least a dozen more blog pieces that declare that we should stop writing “douchebag-is-over” posts. So let’s get busy writing them!

You bunch of douchebags.