Wordsmoker

Hello, my name is Slim Shady. I’ve installed a new messaging system alongside the normal awful system we’ve been using because The Baroness BERATED ME on the Ch-Changes thread and I cried. To be honest, I was getting sick of it myself, so I went and found some new code. I’ve installed it for you all to test out. If you think it’s working to a reasonable extent, there’s apparently a more professional version available at some cost, which I don’t know yet, but which I will FIND OUT if you think the new system looks promising.

Because I’m sick of screengrabs and walkthroughs, I made an instructional video for you regarding this possible revolution in super-secret communicating. What this means is that I’m writing “instructional video” before I actually have to get down on my hands and knees and crawl behind my throbbing black PC and find the correct stupid leads using the power of touch alone to stick into the cryptic same-sized ports using the power of touch alone again and I’ll be doing this at 4.30am while Henry The Cat sleeps unaware of my anger. So, I’ll probably sound pissed off in the video. But enjoy. (Caution – video contains audio of sleepy cat trying to attract the attention of a sleepy editor)

I don’t actually curse in this video, although I do say “kinky”, and I sound very tired. Once you’ve watched the video, I think you’ll agree that it’s a lot scarier than Paranormal Activity.

All Wordsmoker users, no matter their level of subscription, can receive internal messages. If you can receive, but not send or reply, well that’s simply because we don’t trust you initially – you could be a muslim socialist spam-bot of little regard for all we know (Wences). If that’s the case with you, you possible terrorist junkie, then just drop a line to the usual address pleading your innocence while promising to be a good Wordsmoker for all eternity. Essentially sell your soul for messaging capabilities. That’s it. Beg.

Some Points Of Interest About This New Thing

You Have Yet More Mail: In this version, you also receive an email sent to whatever email address you gave when you signed up. These are sent from Wordsmoker’s GLORIOUS SERVER whenever you get a message. Don’t reply to it, it’s not interested in your thoughts on baseball.

You Have Limits: You’re limited to having 20 messages in your Inbox at any one time, a limit installed for the hornier amongst you.  I’ll see what kind of load it puts on the server and the database, and maybe increase this in the future when we all wear silver jumpsuits and eat steak pills.

Public Messaging: The code still has rough edges, so I’ve had to hack it by enabling a public messaging mode for it to work in a private manner. I’m hoping if you like this version, and if the price is right for the upgrade, that something like this is able to be switched off. What I’m saying is – don’t ever, ever use this, please. I’m talking a ban on anyone abusing it by actually using it. If you need to say something to everyone, post something on the front page. Seriously – don’t even look at this bit.

Your Dashboard: Your dashboard should now smell “lemon-fresh” at all times.

That’s about it for now. I’ll be doing other MAGIC maybe tonight, but I’ll keep you informed via thought.

Smooches

Virus