ACORN Will Get You the Tax Break – But THEY Will Get You the Guns

October 9, 2009 in Stupid Humans

ACORN is the most evil and nasty thing that has ever plagued society since the Third Reich. It is awful beyond any stretch of our feeble imaginations. When you invoke the term “ACORN,” a small part of Jesus dies away, as if you have taken the very thing he set out to do away from him.

There is no salvation when it comes to ACORN, as they are helping scores of the poor and lost to find themselves, which is terribly wrong. The criminal act of helping others to avoid the Tax Man is beyond reprehensible. We should shut the bastards down— immediately. But what do we give them if there is no economic basis for their survival?

HOW ABOUT GUNS!

Now, this may seem like a relatively bad idea, but there is this wonderful loophole (THANK GAWD FOR THE SECOND AMENDMENT) that provides that if you sell a gun via “gun convention” as a private individual, you can use your own discretion as to whether or not the buyer is sound enough to possess said weapon. This means— you aren’t supposed to sell guns to say, a convicted felon who has just told you he has a desire to kill, but hey— this is America, so let’s get ‘em shooting as fast as we can.

Take this video for example:

See? In it, all you have to do is walk right up and say “I probably wouldn’t pass a background check,” and there ya go! Suddenly you are the proud owner of a Russian era AK-47 with some sort of awesome scope-search device that will surely help you hit that target you’ve been looking for— such as your ex-wife, or a rival gang member! Isn’t that swell?

In these transactions, agents purchased 20 semi-automatic handguns and 2 assault rifles from private vendors. Private sellers at every show were willing to sell guns to an apparent prohibited purchaser, and some did so repeatedly, at multiple shows.

Screw you, ACORN! GUNS FOR ALL THE POOR. While it may not work as well as “a chicken in every pot,” at least obsessive gun ownership does alleviate any worry of overpopulation.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/nefariousnewt/ NefariousNewt

    I am reminded of a George Carlin skit about keeping people on their toes: “Go into a gun shop, but a gun… then ask if they sell ski masks.”

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/shortsshortsshorts/ shortsshortsshorts

    ALSO

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mediahohoho/ mediahohoho

    Do you have a video of the one where ACORN rolled into an intersection and just opened fire until 27 innocent civilians were dead as rocks? Damn.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    I’m sorry. Do you guys have a problem with this? While I am a proponent of a persons right to purchase the means for their own protection, I find the lack of gun tracking protocols a little ridiculous.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/nefariousnewt/ NefariousNewt

    @CHILLBEARLATRIGUE: Most definitely. This is a loophole you can drive an armored division through. What perplexes me about such things, is that the NRA is all for gun rights and promoting the safe and legal use of guns, and yet they wouldn’t want anyone cracking down on this, making it possible for people to get guns who shouldn’t have them.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

    @Newt, et al.: Heavy sigh. I hate myself for getting involved in this, but I’ve lived with a 2nd Amendment gun-nut for over 20 years and I finally get what he’s been talking about. It took the Bush administration’s fuckery with women’s rights to clear my head. When I make similar arguments as yours to Mr. Penguino, he rightfully says, “well, aren’t you always talking about how any minor limitation to abortion rights is simply a chipping away that will eventually erode all rights?” Yes, that’s what I say to him all the time (he’s pro-choice, too, but occasionally, I like to rant). Gun owners feel the same way. Once you start letting the government saying this gun or that gun is unacceptable, or you do have it here, but not there, gun owners get an itchy feeling on the backs of their shiny little red necks and start feeling like this is the beginning of the end. I’m not saying it’s rational or right, just that I see Mr. P’s argument and that I support his passionate support of the rights of gun owners. And with that, I will crawl back under my blanket.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

    You guys, please ignore me. When I went back and re-read the post, the responses, and then my bizarro idiotic comment, I thought, “WTF, self?” I think I’m having an end-of-week sort of afternoon and only a couple of nerons are firing while the rest are fast asleep.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/nefariousnewt/ NefariousNewt

    @MAMA PENGUINO: The only counter to that is that abortion is a natural process, part of a woman’s life, and if a woman gets to choose the other things she does to her body, then why can’t the anti-choice folk tolerate that? On the other hand, guns are man-made objects, designed for their power to kill (or incapacitate, though that takes skill), and in the hands of the wrong people, are a menace to human society. You can’t tell me a pregnant woman who decides to terminate that pregnancy is a threat to society; her decision only affects her. Another case of apples and oranges.

    I grew up in Vermont and I have a respect for those who hunt, and I also have a strong patriotic bone in my back that says the chances of this country ever being invaded by a foreign power are slim, but just the same, we should have the right to be armed. That said, any responsible gun owner, in my estimation, should want things such that guns do not end up in the hands of people who will use them irresponsibly. That only leads to law-abiding gun owners being tarred with the “gun nut” brush, which I think would be intolerable.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/mama-penguino-2-2-2/ Mama Penguino

    @Newt: Did you see I wrote “nerons,” instead of neurons? That says everything to me. About me. Several years ago – like 15 yrs ago, actually – I had to drive my farmer father-in-law’s old, old Ford F-150 pick up truck for 6 months while living in Kansas City, of all places. It had a huge NRA sticker in the back window, so to counter the stereotype, I put a large “Keep Abortion Legal” bumper-sticker on the back bumper (the only bumper-sticker I’ve ever affixed as I loathe and abhor them). To my utter shock and surprise, my co-workers at Borders (who were all cool Kansas City kids, unlike me) thought I was so hip in that truck. Go figure. I know you are right – and I know the analogy doesn’t fit entirely. Mostly what I was trying to get across was that fearful feeling a person has about something they hold dear being threatened.