Lawyergay’s List Of 10 Beautiful Men
October 8, 2009 in ListSmoker
I love a beautiful woman, don’t get me wrong, but I am also quite partial to the fellas. I’ve always thought that one of the reasons some men are so freaked out about us homos is that they can’t stand the thought of being stripped of their sexual agency (and, of course, their clothing) by one of their “bros,” “brohams,” “broheims,” “brahs” and/or Rip Taylor. Memo to the man-candy out there: The tables have turned, broseph! In the spirit of objectifying the hell out of some seriously sexy dudes, then, I offer you the following, in no particular order:
1. Randolph Scott: So-so actor during Hollywood’s golden age (and beyond) and Cary Grant’s secret boyfriend, Scott is the kind of handsome that makes you want to start wearing hats just so you have an excuse to run into him at the haberdasher’s.
2. Jason Bateman: Who fills out a pair of corduroys better? Bateman is both great-looking and deserves some kind of MacArthur Genius Award for his performance in “Arrested Development,” the funniest television show ever made.
3. Bryan Batt: Jon Hamm is too…too. Batt, who plays art director Salvatore Romano on AMC’s “Mad Men,” is dark and handsome but also approachable. Yo, Batt, if you’re reading this: I’ve got some Sambuca warming and a great view from my bedroom.
4. Richard Ruccolo: He was in everyone’s favorite homoflick (after Trick, natch*), All Over the Guy with Dan Bucatinsky,** but that’s not why I find him irresistible. Nope, it’s that sweet, mischievous smile and kind of effortless ease with himself. Yeah, that.
5. David Eigenberg: “Steve” from “Sex And The City” was hunky and nerdy at the same time. He was nunky and herdy, and I love that.
6. Blair Underwood: Yes, I am a total “Miranda.”
7. Santa Claus: Not only is he beautiful on the inside, he’s an extremely nice-looking older gentleman. The historical St. Nicholas was an early Christian living in what is now modern Turkey, so I’m just going to assume that Santa knows his way around a Turkish oil wrestling match, obviously a huge plus.
8. Brett Favre: My idea of fantasy football.
9. Grant Imahara: This “Mythbusters” hottie builds his own robots, fer Chrissakes!
10. Shane Keough: Okay, okay. Shane is a total brain-dead jock from a reality show (“The Real Housewives of Orange County”) who really needs to explore his Oedipal rage. But he’s just so hot.
*, **: Just kidding, I only watch gay movies with penis puns in the title.