Wordsmoker

Ironically, just days after my post about how going to the ER is so difficult for me was run, here, on Wordsmoker, I ended up in another situation where I HAD to go to the ER.  I actually was ordered by my primary care physician to go to the ER.

For the past 4 days or so, I have had this thing growing underneath my eyebrow.  At first it just felt like a pimple that had to surface and be popped (I have been blessed with never really having an acne problem, especially around my eye area, so I did think it a bit odd).  But it got bigger and bigger till the whole area around my right eye was so swollen that I could barely open my eye.

I got to the ER, and thank god, everyone from the triage nurse to the Dr who treated me was respectful and cool.  Unfortunately, my diagnosis,  I am not so cool with.

It is not a pimple or an abscess, cause nothing came from the Dr’s attempts at draining it.  I had my eye area poked with a needle 2 times, and the Dr could get nothing out.  Because of this, the Dr said that I have a case of orbital cellulitis.  OK, easy enough, take my meds and I will be all better, right?  Maybe.  Hopefully.

A couple of years ago, when I was admitted into the ICU after my suicide attempt, they checked me for just about every possible contagious condition out there–just as a precautionary measure.  This is done normally when some is admitted to the MICU, because of the possibility of spreading a condition to an already very sick person via the same Dr or nurse, etc…..Anyway, the morning after I was admitted, Dr’s started coming into my room wearing what looked to me like hazmat suits.  Even the nurses who came in just to give me medication had to wear a mask– and gloves if they touched me or anything I had possibly touched.  On my door there was a sign that said “biohazard.”   Even my parents had to wear gloves and a mask when they were visiting me.  I was pretty out of it, but I knew that something wasn’t right, so I asked one of the MICU Dr’s about what was going on.  Apparently, I had somehow, somewhere, picked up MRSA (methicillin resistant Staphylococcus aureus http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/mrsa/DS00735)–a staf infection that is resistant to almost all antibiotics (known to much of the country as “the superbug”).   At that point in time, the MRSA was the least of anyone’s concerns–saving my life and liver was really all anyone cared about, so the MRSA was put on the back burner, so to speak.  About a month or so after I had been released from the hospital, the media shit storm about MRSA started.  I think it began with an outbreak in an elementary school that lead to the death of a couple of children who attended that school ……..and that was when my parents and I got concerned.  We went to out primary care Dr and all 3 of us tested positive for MRSA.

MRSA is really only life threatening to the very young, very old, and those with compromised immune systems.  Otherwise it is just a big pain in the ass.  But it can also be deadly to an otherwise healthy person if it gets into said person’s bloodstream.  It is also known to cause a variety of soft tissue infections, ie: orbital cellulitis.

The biggest thing that sucks about MRSA is that even if I do not have an active infection, I am still a carrier.  Yeah, it’s kinda like herpes.  So I have to take precautions like wash my hands religiously, change my sheets every 2 days, never use the same towel twice without washing it, and just be super-duper hygienic in general.

I have only had 3 actual MRSA infections since I was diagnosed with it.  Each time it was in the form of a sore in my nose.  Each time I had to take this antibiotic that is sulfa based, and makes me feel like I could ralph at any time.

I have now had one dose of those antibiotics, and I already feel ready to puke–I have 2 more weeks of this antibiotic, called Sulfamethoxazole (otherwise known as Bactrim–the only known antibiotic that MRSA responds to).

Anywhoodle, maybe you are figuring this out by now, but this cellulitis around my eye?  Yeah, it may be MRSA related.  I am supposd to have it cultured.  I am pissed off about this.  Probably cause I am actually kind of scared about it.  I live in fear of this MRSA all the time.  I am constantly worried that somehow it will find its way into my bloodstream (Hellooooo, Anxiety!).  I am worried that this infection will need to be surgically removed in the case that it is MRSA, and that it does not respond to the Bactrim.  I can’t take pain meds.  I don’t want to deal with that kind of pain without them.  Bactrim makes me feel sick.   Sometimes I actually do puke when I am on it.  I can barely eat when I take it.  I am hungry.  I want my face back.  I just put my pants on backwards.  I put them on the right way.  Then I spilled my freshly brewed and fucking hot tea all over them and me.  I am fucking pissed off.  I am supposed to go to my cousin’s second service this Sunday in Connecticut.  He died about a month ago.  The day before his 30th birthday.  Now I am not sure that I will be able to go.  Did I say that I am pissed off?  Did I say that I am scared?

Go ahead and comment about whatever you want on this post.  Rant away about something you are currently angry about.  Send me virtual hugs, or bitch slaps.  I don’t care.  I am too pissed to care.  You’d be pissed too if you had just had your eye poked 2 times with a needle for nothing.

It hurts.  Trust.