No. You Are Wrong.
October 2, 2009 in Politics
Remember when, even if you were not alive yet, that the Pledge of Allegiance was a required daily activity in the school room? Yes, it was our patriotic duty to raise our hands to our hearts and spew out the only words a child can remember at 7:45 in the morning. Well— if you are a conservative by the same logic, that makes you a Nazi!
“We had prayer in school before we started class, and after class,” said Werthmann. “One day I came into the classroom and the crucifix was gone, and there was Hitler’s picture, and the Nazi flag on either side. And our teacher said, ‘Today we don’t pray anymore. We sing ‘Deutschland, Deutschland Uber Alles.’”
Truer words have never been… wait what?
Yes, it was the Magical Land of Insanity, as Conservative female activists all came together for the innately horrifying ‘How to Take Back America Conference‘ that has been all over the “blogs” and “news organizations” for days now. There were many highlights, including Mike Huckabee allegedly making out with Michele Bachmann in the press bathroom, but that is unfounded— for now.
Freaks from all walks of life were present— from 85 year old’s to the youngest of the Freak kin— all bashing pots against the wall in a general frenzy unmatched by even the greatest of Glenn Beck rants.
“Don’t you dare give up your guns!” thundered Werthmann. “Never, never, never!”
“Give them back one bullet at a time!” called out another activist.
Jimbo leaves the conference and enters his Truck Nutz adorned Ford F-8000 7 million horsepower vehicle. Jimbo, who is packing heat doesn’t have a gun permit, is pulled over by two officers somewhere west of I-95 (sure why not?). The officers discover that Jimbo is illegally storing firepower and attempt to confront Jimbo over the incident. Jimbo’s reaction? FIRE AT THEM. They are, after all, trying to take his gun away— and you know what happens then? “Give them one bullet at a time!”
Is this bullshit coming out of the mouths of the activists, or is it a true sense that anything and everything a Democratic President will do is against their basic understanding of the Bill of Rights?
Hell they have their second amendment— can’t the dirty liberals get the 4th one back? WELL WHO KNOWS, as liberals are not allowed at the Take Back America orgy.
And speaking of orgies, what about gays? Are these “gays” to be referred to as “homosexuals,” or will we go back to their natural, traditional name— “sodomites?”
Rev. Rick Scarborough, a pastor who advised Mike Huckabee’s presidential campaign, pounded the podium at his Friday afternoon speech, warning that the president’s pro-gay agenda was endangering Christians who spoke out against gay rights.
“The day the president put his hand on the bible,” said Scarborough, “his minions were changing official White House Website to reflect a whole new understanding of civil rights, to refer to homosexuals.” The Bible, said Scarborough, called these people “sodomites, which no one wants to talk about because it reminds them of their behavior.”
Sodomites! There you are. You see— if you stop calling somebody a “Politically Correct” phrase, they will inevitably realize what they are doing is wrong. For instance, if this country went back to calling African Americans “Ni____” again, surely the blacks would understand that being their color is “wrong,” according to this same line of logic.
Yes, this thing was a helluva barn burner— because just as you thought it couldn’t get any better, The North American Union comes into the fold.
“The North American Union is a real thing,” said Gaffney. “It is a real transnational agenda to try to forge out of Mexico, Canada, and the United States, a real competitor to the American Union.” Beseeching his audience not to treat the NAU as “black helicopter stuff,” he claimed the existence of “something like twenty-five different trilateral working groups, each and every one of which is beavering away at new transnational regulations.”
SO HERE COMES THE AMERO! And rightfully so— so long as people like Gaffney have been around pandering to the bullshit on Wall Street, the dollar has become a hindrance to international growth, SO WHY NOT?
Let’s get the ‘messicans in ‘ere to take our jobs, cuz that’s what every ‘merican wants.
Democrats have been bitching for years about the problems with outsourcing labor. It has made us more “productive,” we can guess, but our lifestyles are shit. Most people prefer happiness from a Pharmacy than from say, a beach or a mountain— because who the hell has the time for that anymore? HELL, our jobs are on the line, right? So isolationism, according to Gaffney, is as perfect as Jesus himself— if that was actually the way our economy worked.
We can gather that African Americans are evil, the Pledge of Allegiance is wrong, Conservatives want to shoot cops, and we will soon be operating under a three country system-alliance that will destroy us all. Bask in this logic, dear reader. Your future depends on it.