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The Mendo Monster

September 14, 2009 in Scary!

I had to sit on this for a day because I poked the thing with a stick yesterday and here in California that might have been a Federal crime. Poking a protected marine monster can result in some serious jail time and a heavy fine. So, I had a talk with my lawyer and it turns out that it is not a federal crime to poke a dead marine monster with a stick.

What a relief!

I have to go find a therapist to help me deal with the images.

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HI, I'M JOHNNY CASH.

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This has been a SEADEBRIS report – over!

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/captainfantastic/ CaptainFantastic

    I’m a zoologist and it’s a turtle without its shell.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

    @Sea: My favorite aunt lives in Mendocino.

    Is that the really old guy who hangs out at the Golden West saloon in Ft. Bragg?

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @ Captain: I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: turtles are toothless (and toothsome).

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @BL: That guy’s also probably toothless, and no doubt taste likes sea dog. I’m going with sea lion based on the dentition and the fact that it’s on the beach.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ David Paprocki

    @CF: No nO NO! It’s obvious that it is Julia Allison with her fur burnt off by the sun or Ronn [sic] Torrosian, or Tinsley “Oh, look! Jaundice! Let’s get a doughnut!” Mortimer and I think I saw Richard Lawson running away shouting “Cajun Boy redeems everyone! Cajun Boy redeems all!”

    Either that, or it’s Dokken.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ David Paprocki

    @Knee: There’re lions? In the sea? Holy Fuck! Why do we even have oceans?

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @David P: What do you think keeps the sea zebra population in check?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

    @Knee: Funny, when I let you look in my mouth, you thought I was Scandinavian.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/seadebris/ seadebris

    @CAPTAINFANTASTIC: My first thought was, “I hope this is a turtle without its shell and not a dead body.”

    @BOOKISHOOKISH: Oh cool, maybe your aunt could help a girl out. There is just one little problem with this beautiful part of the coast. The men. I’ll just leave it at that, for now.
    Why do you think I’m down at the beach every morning poking things with a stick? If I find a shipwrecked sailor down there I have first dibs.

    @KNEETOE: I have this logged as a dead baby seal lion. Its shell will probably wash up tomorrow.

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @BL: I said you had a swede tooth (groan) and probably craved a big creamy danish. As for your origins, I guess neither deep south nor way up north. Now, thank god, I’m finished (I had another mouth/finish line but dropped it out of consideration for your delicate sensibilities). Also, sorry for this.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

    @Sea: Hippies and redneck, yerd, the pickings are slim. But I heard you have some pretty nice sativa, so there’s that. I just cannot tolerate those winding roads and the loggers who like to shove you off ‘em. This li’l Jewess’s nerves are shot between Cloverdale and the coast.

    @Knee: Thank you, ’cause I *am* a delicate fuckin’ flower (as we say in the dirty Jerze)!

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @BL: So that’s why it’s the Garden State.

    @Sea: Are you hedging your bets there on seal vs sea lion? Leads me to an animal identification moment: if it has ears sticking off its head, it’s a sea lion. At this point you might have to get pretty close to that thing to see, but I’m sure you’ll do it for science.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/seadebris/ seadebris

    @KNEETOE: My brain typed sea lion, and my fingers failed in the execution stage.

    And, ha ha ha – ears! Since you are evidently a scientist, would you happen to know the explosive range of a decomposing sea monster?

    @BOOKISHLOOKISH: Emerald Triangle, indeed! Thanks for the tip on the Golden West saloon, by the way.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

    @Sea: That place is the shiz. Cool old bartender, fat lazy cat, pool table, too.

  • http://wordsmoker.com kneetoe

    @sea: If you’re planning on poking it with a stick, I recommend, say, a pole vault (or whatever the long stick thing–and how’s that for scientific–is called).