You are browsing the archive for 2009 September.

Forced-Birth Update: “Personhood” Is The Next Battle

September 30, 2009 in Forced Birth Movement

There may be no more polarizing issue in American politics than whether the state should have the power to force a woman to carry her pregnancy to term.

Why this ought to be “polarizing” is frankly beyond me, but suffice it to say that there seems to be a lot of people in this country who would like to see women give birth while chained to a hospital bed.

If you follow this issue at all, then you know that the forced-birth movement is planning on making “personhood” the focus of its next big legislative push.

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Five Word Moview Review: “Caligula”

September 30, 2009 in 5 Word Movie Review

That cumbath scene? Not integral.

Panda’s Playlist: Song Of The Day – Wednesday, Sept. 30

September 30, 2009 in Audiosmoker

Here’s something you probably didn’t know about me: my heritage (or at least the part that makes up the majority of my DNA) hails from Denmark.  I don’t know if this helps explain my taste for Scandinavian acts, but it certainly does help explain my pale white skin and my obsessive attitude towards beard growing.

Today’s song is definitely more listener friendly than the last one, but it’s still a tad bit weird for some tastes I’d imagine.  Read the rest of this entry →

Give The Gift Of Meat

September 28, 2009 in Wordsmoker Publishing

A number of years ago the American Beef Council or some purveyor of fine meats used the saying “Give the Gift of Meat” as a  holiday sales campaign slogan.   Those of us with somewhat juvenile senses of humor thought that was incredibly funny.

Today there are still some businesses that use the slogan without trying to be intentionally comedic.  Many of these ad campaigns come from Australia, where it is well-known that the inhabitants are generally free of the affliction of irony.

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Panda’s Playlist: Song Of The Day – Monday, Sept. 28

September 28, 2009 in Audiosmoker

I’ve got a feelin’ about today’s song.  None of ya’ll’s will like it.  But that’s okay.  It’s okay, really.  I love it.  And if you don’t, that’s fine.  This particular genre of music isn’t for everyone.  But if the combination of metal, southern rock and hardcore sounds appealing and you love brilliant lyrics you can barely understand at times, then hey, you just might dig this. Read the rest of this entry →

The Smokies – I’mma Let you Finish Edition

September 27, 2009 in The Smokie Awards

The Smokies

It’s that time when we honor those who have made significant improvements to the world at large with their wit, insight, and compassion.  But this is also when we’re supposed to announce the Smokies, so let’s get that out of the way first, shall we?

Speaking of time, you’ve probably noticed that for highly technical reasons that you couldn’t possibly understand even if you read my new book, Smokies for Dummies, the awards are not published at precisely the same time each week.  But rest assured that your valuable contributions, though housed “on a server the size of housefly teardrops,” are more precious to us than all the cubic zirconia on Long Island.

ChillBearLatrigue and I have a precise, patented algorithm worked out to ensure that not a single utterance on this website is ever overlooked for consideration.  Our timing, based on the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado, puts relay racers and synchronized swimmers to shame.  It’s a beautiful thing to watch, really. But you can’t watch, because you’re not cleared at that level. Nobody is. Not even CBL or myself.  So we can’t even discuss it between ourselves for fear of violating some obscure provision of the Patriot Act, which he is sworn to uphold.

The following Smokies are presented for wonderfulness through Saturday at 23:59:59.000 EDT:

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20 Things About Me – NefariousNewt

September 27, 2009 in 20 Things About Me

20 Things About Me1) In high school, I used to clip pictures of female celebrities out of my grandmother’s Star, National Enquirer, and other celebrity rags, and tape them to the wall next to my bed. The most clipped? Valerie Bertinelli. Second: Brooke Shields. Third: Jaclyn Smith.

2) Despite growing up in Vermont, I have never been skiing (downhill/cross country).

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Sarcastro’s 20 G20 Rumors

September 27, 2009 in I SHIT YOU NOT, Politics

The G-20 economic summit is taking place in Pittsburgh.

Sarcastro lives there.

He hears things.

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Bad Guesses

September 27, 2009 in Financial Doomwatch

Do you love gambling? Even better— do you like gambling to lose? Wall Street sure as hell does! Obviously we all know this, because the system, as it is set up, is doomed to fail. This is old news, even to the laymen. Everybody, whether on the right or left, ran around all over the place holding signs high in the air and screaming loudly for no reason at all. At least we thought we had a reason though, as that is all that matters to our generally dim-witted way of life. No matter what we all believed to be true, the system didn’t change— and it deserves a little overview. Let’s explore, one and all! Make sure you break out the bourbon. This is a depressing picture.

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