It’s that time when we honor those who have made significant improvements to the world at large with their wit, insight, and compassion. But this is also when we’re supposed to announce the Smokies, so let’s get that out of the way first, shall we?
Speaking of time, you’ve probably noticed that for highly technical reasons that you couldn’t possibly understand even if you read my new book, Smokies for Dummies, the awards are not published at precisely the same time each week. But rest assured that your valuable contributions, though housed “on a server the size of housefly teardrops,” are more precious to us than all the cubic zirconia on Long Island.
ChillBearLatrigue and I have a precise, patented algorithm worked out to ensure that not a single utterance on this website is ever overlooked for consideration. Our timing, based on the atomic clock in Boulder, Colorado, puts relay racers and synchronized swimmers to shame. It’s a beautiful thing to watch, really. But you can’t watch, because you’re not cleared at that level. Nobody is. Not even CBL or myself. So we can’t even discuss it between ourselves for fear of violating some obscure provision of the Patriot Act, which he is sworn to uphold.
The following Smokies are presented for wonderfulness through Saturday at 23:59:59.000 EDT:
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