Johnnie Walker Red

August 8, 2009 in Smokin' Comments

Hello, it’s Your Editor here. This post is a comment left by BellTolls on the Robert Carlyle sells you whiskey thing a recent while back and I, in a bout of benevolence, must now share it with you so it will enrich your life because it is Smokin’. You must read this and enjoy it.

Can I tell a story? Okay, I will.

During a huge storm in Manhattan many years ago all the snowbound residents of my apartment floor threw open their doors and had a party. I had noticed there were many attractive people on my floor –especially the young women down the hall. It was just like Friends. but if real people. The party moved outside into the two feet of snow for a drunken game of football. A beautiful Southern Belle took to tackling me on every play even when I didn’t have the ball. I think she liked me! Later after a crawl through Village bars ending with us being eased out of the Lion’s Head at about three, the Southern Belle whispered in my ear, “If we are going to be seeing each other you are going to have to start drinking Johnnie Walker Red.” “Sure!” I said.

As we ran through our whirlwind romance I noticed my fondness for Johnnie Walker Red increased in inverse proportion to the Southern Belle’s fondness for me. As our efforts to maintain our white hot love affair waned we took to having late night conversations to figure out our relationship that kept her roommates up late or if at my place were sidetracked by Walker fueled sex in my apartment. Southern in an effort to move are discussion along turned to me one night and said, “You can stop drinking Johhnie Walker Red, now.” And so I did. Next time she came over there was a chilled bottle of Absolut in the refrigerator.

(Yes, it’s Your Editor again. From now on if something like the above catches my eye in the comments I’m going to steal it and run it as a post of it’s own and under your name because I have that type of power, yeah, I do, you’ve known I can do this for a time now but for some reason you’ve never been able to ask me if it was true, so the cat’s out of the kettle now and you should expect this feature to be as frequent as you are brilliant.)

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @Virus: This was a judicious use of your editor powers. Great scotch story.

    @BellTolls: No matter how hot a chick is, I am not giving up my Cold Duck. Some things are just way more important than ass.* Don’t change who you are or what you do because some chick who apparently has no concept of the rules of football tells you to.

    * I’m lying here.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    O! I have a story. Let’s see. This one time. Ah. I got nothing. Nice remembrance, Bell. Has all the beauty of past pleasures. How the same world, the same hallway, same doors, become transformed by a change in the sequence. Love the doors thrown open and the snow football. Just charming.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/belltolls/ Belltolls

    @Chill It’s a shame Reader’s Digest wouldn’t accept this as a My Most Unforgettable Person feature because Southern Belle had and has way more going for her than her linebacking skills.

    @Vaq Thanks Vaq. It was one of those classic New York City events like “where were you when the lights went out” or a riot. New York City blanketed in fluffy white snow with no cars or buses and an entire city wandering around in the middle of the streets full of good cheer and possibility. The Village was a wonderland that night. We also stopped off at David’s Potbelly: I remember I had a sour cream and cavier omlette.

    @Virus Geez, if I had known someone would actually like my little rememberance I would have fixed the typos. Coming from you (my favorite internet writer; right up there with Choire and Lawson and a few other wordsmiths who actually put a patina of excellence online) I am greatly humbly. Southern Belle and I have remained friends all these years. I went to her wedding and her husband and I are dear friends. In fact I owe them a call.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ tilltheclockspeaksup

    ha, i love the tags.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/captainfantastic/ CaptainFantastic

    You forgot:
    Drunk Women Hot

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lipsticklibrarian/ LipstickLibrarian

    @CF:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/saidtrash/ saidtrash

    @Belltolls Absolut and Johnnie Red, you just described two thirds of my diet.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/belltolls/ Belltolls

    @ Saidtrash Well, don’t forget to balance that out with some fruit..like a grape or something.