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20 Things About Me – Joielg

July 14, 2009 in 20 Things About Me

20 Things About Me1. My father was the proverbial traveling salesman. He was peddling magazines when he knocked on my mother’s door 40 years ago. It was a short but productive relationship.

2. I’m a bookworm. I have been since I was a child. I’ll read the back of a cereal box if I have nothing else.

3. When I was eight I had a Donnie Osmond pillowcase.

4. My self esteem is closely related to my weight. I step on the bathroom scale a dozen times a day. For those of you who don’t know, one’s weight can vary wildly throughout the course of a day.

5. I’ve read The Stand by Stephen King 7 times.

6. The day my divorce was final I put everything I could fit in a backpack and caught a southbound Greyhound. Four hundred miles later I got off in a city by the ocean. I’ve been here ever since.

7. I like shiny things.

8. I have blonde hair, and sometimes I find it very convenient to play the dumb blonde card. Who’s fooling who?

9. I am a recovering alcoholic. I drank every day of my life for 18 years. I’m also a bartender.

10. I end up watching the TV Guide channel a lot because I can never decide what to watch.

11. My least favorite word is potential.

12. I’m extremely fickle, and I have a hard time setting goals.

13. I’m really excited about this trend toward self-sufficiency that is moving through the country. I secretly want to move to the middle of nowhere and raise goats.

14. My dog’s name is Lucy. She’s quite possibly the most ill-mannered dog on the block. Lucy jumps on strangers and chases bicycles. She growls at other dogs. Only a mother could love her.

15. I experience periodic bouts of insomnia. I should have been asleep two hours ago.

16. I have trouble peeing in public restrooms.

17. I had a baby when I was younger that I put up for adoption.

18. My favorite drink from Starbucks is a triple, grande, soy, latte.

19. When I was young I dated men who were far too old for me. Now that I’m almost forty I date boys who are much too young.

20.  I commute by bicycle.

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/dahlelama/ DahlELama

    6. High five–that’s awesome.

    11. I don’t know if it’s my least favorite, but I’d say it’s a good choice for contender. I really hate the word “queef” though, so, tough competition.

    17. I’m fascinated by this–do you ever wonder what you would do if the child tried to contact you? Is that too personal? I watch a lot of bad TV and I can’t help but wonder.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    Yeah, #6 is inspired.

    I know (of) a few people in the #9 and I am always awed by that. Don’t see how it is done.

    #17 I am also fascinated by this.

    #19 is curious.

    Thanks, Joielg. Nice list.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/monkeyrash/ monkeyrash

    #3-did you kiss it before you went to sleep? Because I did that with my posters.

    #2-growing up in our house, no one spoke at breakfast and if you were the last one to the table and all the good sections of the newspaper were being read, the cereal box was yours.

    #7-yes

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/citydater/ City Dater

    #14: My dog is called Lucy as well! It’s an excellent dog name, mostly because every day you get to holler “Loooocy I’m hoooome” in a Desi Arnez voice. (Mine is also something of a dog fool, but she’s not quite 40lbs and cute, so she just barely gets away with it)

    #13: Goats are awesome.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ BookishLookish

    #4. Throw the scale in the garbage and trust your own hands, or the hands of one of the fellows in #19 (go, baby!).
    #6 makes me think of Dark City. Do you get to make out with Rufus Sewell? Jealous!
    #7. Magpie. Me too. Rhinestones or diamonds, doesn’t matter.
    #9 is pretty intense.

    I want to know more.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lawyergay/ lawyergay

    #4. Start with once a day, at dawn…then once a week…eventually, never.
    #13. Give me a call. My unemployment ran out yesterday, but that’s not the reason I’d like to move somewhere to raise goats/llamas/beefalo with you.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/joielg/ joielg

    Wow, I’d actually forgotten I wrote this list, but it couldn’t have been published at a better time. I’m home for the next few days because I’ve managed at the age of 39 to contract a nasty case of mono. This is so undignified, but I guess it’s just punishment for my antics. As I sit here in my dream-like state of fatigue, I’m trying to talk myself out of going to the beach. What could be more restful than the beach right? Then again it might be bad form to show up for work after a prolonged illness with a fabulous tan. This is a real dilemma, but for the moment I can talk about myself some more.

    #17 I birthed the child in question when I was 29. I originally went to the doctor that year because of a lump in my left breast. After telling me that a biopsy was necessary, my doc also informed me that I was knocked up. I wish I could say I handled all this with grace and courage, but the truth is I locked myself in a dark apartment for a few weeks and let everything go to hell. Eventually, long story short, I had a mastectomy, then had a baby, and then started a fairly long course of chemotherapy. I contacted an adoption attorney early in the pregnancy and chose my child’s new family, literally, out of a catalog. It was bizarre, but I got to know them over the course of the pregnancy and I have absolutely no doubt that I made the right decision. It’s an open adoption, so if the child chooses to find me someday he need only ask the attorney for my address and phone number. I have no expectations associated with that. I also wish I could say that all of these actions are typical of me, but that’s simply not the case. Most days I’m about as immature, fickle, and self centered as it gets, and I have a hard time recognizing the girl who made the choices I talk about above.

    #9 Clearly the pregnancy and the cancer were life changing events. I managed to stay sober long enough to have the child, and even though it didn’t stick after he was born it brought me, eventually, to the realization that sober was a better life for me. If I ever meet my son I will thank him for that.

    #3 Yep, I kissed that purple pillow case every night before I went to bed.

    #13 Anyone who is interested in joining Lucy and I in our goat town need only submit an application in the form of a 350 word essay detailing the merits of the aforementioned livestock. All are welcome to apply. Please include a non-refundable $20 application fee. I’ll be in touch.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    Somehow I missed this list earlier. I hope you check it occasionally.

    5. Did you run out of cereal boxes? It was the only Stephen King book that I’ve ever read. While I found one time sufficient, it was very good.

    9. Alcoholism runs high in my family. Most are recovering. Not an easy thing.

    11. My least favorite word is “flaccid.” Sometimes you just don’t want to jinx yourself.

    16. I have trouble peeing when I don’t have a cereal box to read.

    Great list. You’re very interesting.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    Chillbear pees sitting down!

    #17 Turned out to be even more intense than I imagined. xo

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chillbearlatrigue/ Chillbear Latrigue

    @Vaq: No, no, no. I just stand there munching down Lucky Charms reading the ingredients and generally missing the toilet. Sometimes its Count Chocula.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/voxpopuli/ VoxPopuli

    4. I used to do that. The only reason I don’t do it so much now is that I’ve gained weight and am in fact, sort of fat these days. When I’m my “thinner self” though, I’m way more obsessed with weight and do weigh myself several times a day.

    6. I love that. I feel like doing this at least several times a year.

    9. Yep. Me too, except the bartender part, which I really don’t think I could handle. There’s a few of us around here, but I’ll let them introduce themselves as such.

    10. I’ve done that before. I usually forget about it and go online or read and book and there it is…scrolling away for hours.

    15. I know. I should be asleep now too.

    16. Me too. I don’t know how men deal with urinals.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/joielg/ joielg

    The truth is I’ve been on a reduced carb diet for the better part of the last two years. I no longer eat cereal. Countless times I’ve written to General Mills with suggestions for low carb breakfast goodies, but the morons there seem to think there’s no market for freeze dried meat chunks or powdered egg nuggets in a box. I don’t really see how that’s my problem, but they insist that a product must appeal to a broader range of customers. I say if you put enough artificial sweetener in the mix someone will buy it. In the meantime I’m forced to haunt the cereal aisle at my local grocery store to get my cereal box fix.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ cockatoodleloo

    Wow on 6 and 17. Amazing. Amazing. Amazing. I’m in awe.

    13 – I don’t raise goats, but I do have a garden struggling to attain mediocrity (although my corn this year may exceed even that) – if you ever do decide to make that next amazing leap, I can give you alot of advice; just do exactly the opposite of my recommendations and you’ll do fine.

    14 – I can relate. My dog screams at squirrels, cats, women pushing baby carriages, kids on bikes, exploding firecrackers, wind up dolls that sing “The Lion Sleeps Tonight,” plastic bags floating on the wind. Such a predator, that one, to give the prey fair warning like that.

    19 – Lucky woman. Do you feel lucky about this? I’ve never had this thing you describe that to me doesn’t even look remotely like a problem.

    Sorry I’m so late to this.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/ tilltheclockspeaksup

    in regards to number two, same here! every last kid in my family has to read while they eat. i’m so bad that i even need reading material in the bathroom. my friends are often rather bemused when i’m at their house and go rifling around for a magazine and then trot off to the bathroom.

    no word on if i’m in the loo presently…. i’ll leave that as a mystery for the internets to decide.