Wordsmoker

In the introduction to Sleeping with Extra-Terrestrials, her rigorously rational critique of New Age spirituality, Wendy Kaminer confesses that she goes to a homeopath. She’s the first to admit that there is no scientific basis whatsoever to support homeopathy’s effectiveness; it simply makes her feel better. I have practiced various forms of qigong over the years. These are Chinese breathing and energy techniques predicated upon the existence of an invisible substance known as qi (or chi). But whether or not there exists a Governor Channel or a Microcosmic orbit, performing qigong makes me feel vital and centered.

What are the appropriate limits to rationality? To what degree is it healthy to pay heed to emotion over reason, to suspend disbelief? And, trickiest of all, how do we make decisions in the face of conflicting evidence concerning our health, the subject of several of today’s items?

Michael Jackson was assassinated by the CIA. You didn’t really think it would take long for someone to claim that, did you? His heart attack was caused by a pulse from an Electromagnetic Radiation (EMR) weapon. The King of Molesters was planning to use his upcoming UK concerts to warn the world of impending mass genocide resulting from contaminated flu viruses. The tainted viruses are being produced by pharmaceutical companies under the direction of the Federal Reserve, the United Nations, and NATO as part of a “covert international bioweapons program.”

During his week-long trek along the Appalachian Trial to “clear his head” to Argentina to clear his seminal vesicles, there was a great deal of speculation concerning South Carolina Republican Gov. Mark Sanford. Turns out Sanford, a possible 2012 presidential candidate and a fierce critic of the Obama administration’s stimulus package, was at Russia’s Ottawa Embassy pleading for assistance in opposing Obama’s socialization of the U.S. He informed the Russians that South Carolina would secede from the Union, and offered them access to South Carolina’s ports and airfields in return for their support. Until he turned up safe and sound, it was simply assumed in some right-wing circles that Obama had Sanford murdered. Fun fact: the state dance of South Carolina is the Shag! You can’t make this stuff up.

The nation’s public water supplies have been fluoridated since the early 20th century as a proactive measure against childhood tooth decay. But the government has been aware at least since the 1930s that fluoride is actually a deadly, carcinogenic industrial toxin, right up there with arsenic, mercury, and lead. The aluminum industry and federal regulatory agencies have conspired to cover up fluoride’s threat to the nation’s health for decades. The original impetus for widespread fluoridation came, not from a doctor or dentist, but rather from a scientist employed by a company that could have been bankrupted by fluoride damage claims. “Water fluoridation is the ideal solution for industry’s fluoride waste disposal problem.” The chemicals used for fluoridation come from the waste products of fertilizer manufacturing. Instead of paying to haul toxic products away, companies can sell them to the government for use in our water supply.

Vaccinations don’t work, and they can do a great deal of harm, ranging from suppressing immune defenses in children to causing cancer. One school of thought holds that most childhood diseases are not caused by germs, but by toxaemia, an accumulation of toxic wastes in the body caused by malnutrition, poor sanitation, and overconsumption of processed foods and chemical additives. Vaccines contain poisonous ingredients such as formaldehyde and mercury derivatives. People should avoid vaccinations and eat a diet high in fruits and vegetables, keep a positive outlook, and drink only unfluoridated water. There are those, including world-renown epidemiologist Jenny McCarthy, who remain convinced that vaccinations cause autism.

AIDS is man made. The epidemic in America started when more than a thousand previously healthy gay men in NY participated in hepatitis B vaccine experiments. A year after the experiments began, 20% of the subjects were HIV-positive. At the time, the hepatitis B vaccine was developed in chimpanzees, commonly believed to be the species in which the “ancestor” virus to HIV originated. The New York Blood Center, where the experiments were conducted, was involved in primate research in West Africa and the U.S. “HIV (along with the new Kaposi’s sarcoma virus) was seeded into gay men via contaminated vaccines.”

A rise in secret bio-warfare research preceded the AIDS epidemic. Some of that research was geared towards finding methods of causing cancer, leading to the “large scale production of oncogenic (cancer-causing) and suspected oncogenic viruses.” Robert Gallo, a prominent (and controversial) AIDS researcher, was involved in these studies. One view is that AIDS was deliberately created by the U.S. government. There was an outcry when Rev. Jeremiah Wright, Barack Obama’s one-time spiritual advisor, declared that AIDS was specifically developed as a form of genocide against the black race. (Obama broke from Wright, who now claims that “them Jews” around the president won’t let them talk anymore.) Similarly, Arab newspapers have claimed on more than one occasion that Jews intentionally spread HIV among Arab populations.

David Carradine, whose death is widely attributed to autoerotic asphyxiation, was actually assassinated by a “secret Kung Fu society” he had been investigating. Secret Kung Fu societies are known to make their victims climax at the moment of death because they read somewhere that this is an effective deterrent. This item wasn’t nearly as dated when I first submitted it. [It was dated by the time you finished typing it. – Ed.]

With all the world’s attention focused on the spate of celebrity deaths last week, did anyone here notice whether Israel signed any peace treaties lately? I’m too broken up by the passing of Billy Mays to google it. According to one authority, the Tribulation was to be set in motion on June 21, when the Antichrist was to sign a peace treaty with Israel. AC will break this treaty on Dec 21, 2012, thereby ushering in the Rapture. I’ll be covering Dec. 21, 2012 predictions in a future column. In the meantime, there’s no need to do any personal or career planning going past that date, if you catch my drift.

These past couple of weeks I’ve seen numerous people and not a few dogs who were without their tinfoil hats. Please don’t let yourself be exposed in this manner! If you need health advice, or perhaps just a replacement tinfoil hat, write me at renesance1 (at) gmail (dot) com.