The Smokie Awards – Memorial Day Makeup Edition
May 31, 2009 in The Smokie Awards
This round of the smokies will cover the last two weeks of posts. Sorry for skipping last week, but hey, it was memorial day weekend. Which I spent at home. Alone. Playing video games and watching movies. And not in Alaska showing off my beard. Or in Florida with my girlfriend.
You understand.
Anyway, since two weeks are being covered, prepare for a long post. Lots of wit to be awarded.
IT BEGINS!: Read the rest of this entry →
Recipe for ruining an otherwise perfectly fine and relaxing day:
I’m reconsidering the title. Perhaps a little too much saccharine, even for my tastes. But, if I stay true to form, I’ll finish this post and publish it anyway, because somehow, in my own arrogant panda way, I’ll make it work.
(As you recall, the theme this week for the micro-fiction roundup was “Desperate times…” and VaQuero was the chosen one, the winner-and-so-winner-chooser. Here is the results, as dictated to me from a messenger parrot VaQ had fly into my windshield earlier this afternoon. It squawked a bit, but in between spurts of blood from it’s beak I was able to get down the following): 
1. The arc of my life thus far can be summed up in one anecdote: I had just started at a snooty J-school after barely graduating from an open-enrollment commuter college. Feeling insecure among all the Yale, etc. grads on my first day, I sneaked a peek at the monitor of the woman working next to me. Her writing was rough, the syntax not quite right, and I immediately felt much more comfortable, knowing there was somebody even more out of their depth than I was. A few minutes later she reached into her bag and pulled out a massive book. It was a Russian-into-English dictionary.
The line seems interminable. For a long time its been just this one fleeting image of you which I have become so obsessed with, that as Jackson says “… it was never clear, how far or near, the gates to my citadel lay; though I keep a watch on the distance, heaven is no closer than it was yesterday”.
Wealthy asshole inflicts himself on his betters, can’t be bothered with the child he fathered late in life, dies senile. Good riddance.
