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Wordsmoker Open Thread: Cum Is Gonna Change

January 23, 2009 in Wordsmoker Open Thread

Wordsmoker LogoA quick and dirty post for you, internet reader, to fill with what you see fit. There will still be posts over the weekend – this is just a general thread kinda thing. It’s also a good place to moan about our cheap-ass server, the “Smokemeister DEC PDP-8″ and it’s reluctance to share processor time with practically anyone, at all, ever.

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  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/busyness/ Busyness

    Sometimes change makes you cum.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/aaronaltman/ Aaron Altman

    Second!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    Third!!11!1!!!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    Third!!!1!11!!!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bigleggedwoman/ BigLeggedWoman

    Funny story: I bought a Smokemeister DEC PDP 1 series at Pic N Save, and it was a p.o.s.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    ‘Smoker’s eating my words, it’s addicted!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/ninahagen/ Nina Hagen

    I am prioritizing my moaning.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/viruswithshoes/ VirusWithShoes

    Also – a big, heartfelt and public thanks to everyone who’s posted an article this week. Excellent work, everyone.

    And a big round of sex-applause to the glorious and multiplying commenting army of Wordsmoker. Your contributions, replies, pornspocks, arguments and discussions make all the hard work worthwhile.

    On behalf of everyone at Wordsmoker – thank you!

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    You had me at “cum”.

    This reminded me of the fact that for the longest time, I thought the words to the Grateful Dead song were “Come here, Uncle John’s Band”. Like he was calling them over, or something. Instead of the actual words “Come hear Uncle John’s Band”. Which makes a lot more sense. Still, I could have forgiven myself the idiocy, if I’d thought the words were “Cum here, Uncle John’s Band”. Like it was being sung from the groupie’s point of view.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bigleggedwoman/ BigLeggedWoman

    Pornspock will be a big takeaway for the week, by the way.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

    @Meg: Speaking of (related) lyrics: I will never forget AC/DC’s quickie from “She Shook Me All Night Long”: “She told me to come, but I was already there.”

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/poisonville/ poisonville

    STOP PICKING ON OUR ULTRA-HIGH-NET-WORTH READERS, SEZ ‘ELITE TRAVELER’ EDITOR IN CHIEF

    So I’m at the laundromat, Mister Laundree, reading the only thing they have to read. That’s right Elite Traveler, “the Private Jet Lifestyle Magazine.”

    Here’s a taste, from the editor’s note:

    null

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/souplines/ souplines

    For the longest time I thought “nothing man” by pearl jam was “muffin man”. Go figure

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/trixiefromtoronto/ Trixie From Toronto

    I personally find Cream by Prince to be one of the best sexytimes songs.

    And I Love You by the Dandy Warhols.

    And She Said by Pharcyde.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/the-doctor/ The Doctor

    I prefer speed metal for my sexytimes.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/ninahagen/ Nina Hagen

    @Doctor: Funny – I had you pegged for an Esquivel guy…

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/sistermarymartha/ SisterMaryMartha

    You’re fucking with me, aren’t you? Seducing me with punwords in the subject line. I am resisting the temptation like the good book says. CigarJesus has warned against bad puns, and I must obey.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/senorwences/ Senor Wences

    My sister heard Johnny Mathis’ ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’ as ‘Locusts in Your Eyes’, which is so much better I can’t believe it.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/ninahagen/ Nina Hagen

    A friend heard the stupid 70′s song “Magic” as “whoa, whoa, whoa, it’s my dick…you know..never believe it’s not so.”

  • http://www.wordsmoker.com Clodia

    Erotic chess, anyone?

    erotic chess

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/the-doctor/ The Doctor

    SMM: Puns in times like these might semenconsiderate.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/the-doctor/ The Doctor

    @Nina: No, I prefer my foreign performers only sing in click-languages.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fracturedacetabulum/ FracturedAcetabulum

    @Clodia: Is that “castling?”

  • http://www.wordsmoker.com Clodia

    @ FA: Ha! Then what is this?
    more erotic chess

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/sistermarymartha/ SisterMaryMartha

    @Doc: I cunt understand why. I wouldn’t think it would be a dickish move, but I wouldn’t want to catch a Virus on my tail.

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    @Clodia: The endgame?

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

    The more, the merrier:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/the-doctor/ The Doctor

    @SMM: Twatever.

  • http://www.wordsmoker.com Clodia

    @Meg: Isn’t that also a band from Scotland?

    Endgame? Endgames?

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    @Clodia: Yes! And there’s also one from Jersey. Endgames are the ties that bind us all. Or something.

    @SMM: @Doc: DO YOU TWO WANT ME TO DIE? I am resisting, but it is hard. (heh.)

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bigleggedwoman/ BigLeggedWoman

    Meg – you are so virtuous; this is a little like the Last Temptation of Christ here.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fracturedacetabulum/ FracturedAcetabulum

    @Clodia: Looks like en passant but I’m not sure. Definitely not a Fischer maneuver. Or a Karstedt for that matter.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/souplines/ souplines

    @meg: didn’t endgames also sing “not tonight dear I am tied up”

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    @souplines: No, that was me. I sang it to my husband when he walked in on me and the boyfriend.

    @BigLeggedWoman: Thank you for your support during this difficult time.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/senorwences/ Senor Wences

    Gotta say, I’m really loving seeing more and more familiar names popping up.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/souplines/ souplines

    @meg. Bet he was fit to be tied ;)

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/souplines/ souplines

    @se

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/h-totheomo/ H. Totheomo

    I thought I would get an Honorable Mention. I really tried hard on this post.

    http://wordsmoker.com/2009/01/18/on-tuesday-or-i-hear-america-singing/

    Don’t turn us into Gawker!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/trixiefromtoronto/ Trixie From Toronto

    H. Totheomo: I have been commenting on Gawker sites since 2005. Once — ONCE — Defamer gave me a nod for a sort of Foxymorons thing that broke out over there. IT HURTS!!!! I am clearly neither witty nor clever!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/spiritfingers4u/ Spirit Fingers

    I’m so feeling the Gawker ex pat love.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/llamalash/ Llamalash

    So, wait. We’re doing the pornspock or no? I thought there was some controversy over that.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

    @Trixie: I hear you. I won Open Caption twice, out of 686 Open Captions. I’ve given up. (If it means anything to you, I enjoy reading your comments/writing.)

  • Adam Streeter

    Hey, I ain’t getting Extinguished.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/trixiefromtoronto/ Trixie From Toronto

    Well thanks Lysergic! And I enjoy reading yours!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    @LyAss & @Trixie: I’m stunned, I had you marked for multi commiegasms. Maybe it was the judging? I only won twice, but both times Richard wasn’t judging. Maybe we just didn’t tickle his particular humor bone?

    @HTo: Yours is a piece which will be most interesting to re-read in a year and then again in four years. Perhaps an extended hacking cough award?

  • Adam Streeter

    Thanks, The Soup. I hadn’t seen this yet.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    @Adam: WHY couldn’t the camera have cut to the looks of utter horror? Priceless.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/llamalash/ Llamalash

    HAHA! I don’t want to think of our president fisting!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    http://henryjenkins.org/obama%20spock%202.jpg

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    @vaquero: I’ve been traumatized by you before. You owe me some more lolcats!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    But it is always accidental!

  • Adam Streeter

  • Adam Streeter

    For the gay fellas:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/the-doctor/ The Doctor

    No wonder all the ladies love you Adam. Its like the Mystery method, but makes you look like less of a douche.

    Thing

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    MEG:

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    Vulcan Breast Meld!

  • http://subjecttochange.tumblr.com/ Meg

    Aww, thanks! It was almost worth being further traumatized by Adam to see it.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    Captain Kirk’s Guide To Women: If it’s in the script…

  • Adam Streeter

    @ Doctor

    I’m not familiar.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

    I am loving the Star Trek stufff, especially the Obama/Spock.

    I think this one qualifies for the ongoing visual theme:

    (Why aren’t my pictures showing up?! They do in the preview.)

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/curly-q-tips-2/ Curly Q Tips

    Stalagmite-as-well!

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/lysergic-asset/ Lysergic Asset

    @Curly: Perfect! I was just thinking that would make a great Open Caption pic.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/souplines/ souplines

    Captain kirk must be cold

  • Adam Streeter




  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/fictionsinmotion/ Vaquero

    O! These are wonderful. The Doctor is right, Adam. I’m a lady and love you.

  • Adam Streeter

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/bjonston/ BJonston

    Huh huh. You said cum.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/chuffedlittlemuffin/ ChuffedLittleMuffin

    Cum.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/jerilyn/ jerilyn

    Barack Obama to Republicans today: “Did you get the memo? I won.”

    I almost spit out my drink when I heard that in the pub that had CNN on.

    That’s a turn on. Finally a Dem who bitch slaps the Repugs.

    Swoon.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/devilsavocado/ DevilsAvocado

    As I’ve told Aaron Altman in a past life… if you want to change your cum, eat pineapple.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/devilsavocado/ DevilsAvocado

    Oh… and it’s midnight here. So I’m off to bed to celebrate Australia Day with my significant other Avocado. So, good night, good friends. It’s very nice to bump into the best of the best in such a convivial environment.

    PS – Australia Day isn’t till Monday, but we always start celebrating early downunder. Feel free to down a few beverages in honour of our day of national celebration/sexual excess/alcoholic paralysis.

  • BookishLookish

    @ DevilsA: Hi, love. I am locked out of Gawker but I saw your little dingbat tribute. So sweet of you! See you ’round these parts, doll. Happy Australia Day.

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/h-totheomo/ H. Totheomo

    Happy Aussie Day!

    I stood up to Owen in my milquetoast way last night (and overshared along the way!):

    http://gawker.com/5138358/obamas-stfu-face#c10265730

  • http://wordsmoker.com/help/members-3/busyness/ Busyness

    Just read that thread H. What an idiot Owen is. He’s drunk with (perceived) power.