12 Predictions for 2009: 100% Guaranteed Accurate
January 6, 2009 in Scary!
In the first of a series of probably one, our part-time fornicator, full-time procrastinator and home-schooled submarine mechanic NotAndersonCooper predicts some things that may probably sometime perhaps happen to him if these events do occur to his person probably in 2009 but we’re willing to let it stretch to 2017 just to be on the safe side.
1. I predict I will be six days late submitting predictions.
2. I predict I will experience massive anxiety every waking hour of the year.
3. I predict I will learn a new expression that was popular with 2004 era high schoolers.
4. I predict I will be kept waiting 2 hours for a routine penis exam by a doctor.
5. I predict I will experience prolonged agony at one of NYC’s three major airports.
6. I predict I will create the best play-list ever. So So good!
7. I predict I will load my refrigerator with extra produce just for show.
8. I predict I will read about a new social networking atrocity that is destroying the fabric of our lives.
9. I predict I will be mesmerized by an stranger on the number 3 train.
10. I predict I will declare work intolerable for even one more hour.
11. I predict I will botch an easy system repair and make it worse.
12. I predict I will pay no attention to reports from Fox News that a silent killer is stalking our children.
(I predict the word-wrap on this blog will ruin the careful formatting – Ed.)