Wordsmoker

Fuck-brained, relentless breeders the “Palin Family” got another little bundle of joy today as “Bristol” Palin squeezed out yet another mouth-breathing oxygen-stealer in the form of poor little “Tripp” Palin, who weighed in at seven pounds, four ounces, no chances. Yes. “Tripp”. Pity the child named after a walking accident. Feel sorrow for the jokes the poor little boy will endure throughout his long adolescence, his short adulthood, and his untimely death at the hands of a snowmobile with an erratic starter motor. Yes. I feel his pain.

Okay. The name is funny enough. But it’s the actions of his now grandmother “Sarah” I worry about. I shouldn’t, really. My therapist told me to block all thoughts of her and her shallow-end-of-the-gene-pool clan. But I can’t. So – a new game for you all, if you can be bothered: THE PALIN POLITICAL POSSE GAME I JUST MADE UP

1. They obviously can’t use contraception properly, so the first round is “How They Mistakenly Got Knocked Up”. For example “Outside a barn in the middle of Winter at 3 degrees Kelvin as the matter forming the spermicide in the condom stopped working and cracked the little teat thing at the end“.

2. The weird fucking name they will call the latest member. Example “Gak” Palin.

3. What political position they will hope to take in the future. Example – Secretary of Root Vegetables in Chip Saltsman’s 2024 Administration. Include their slogan too, if you feel like it – e.g., “Palin’s Railin’ About Shower Scalin’”

Equation is therefore: Accidental Conception +Stupid Fucking Name + Scary Political Campaign = Comedy Gold In The Comments! Here’s the article in the WaPo if you fancy the reality of the situation shitting down the back of your neck.