Product Review: The Innovage Living Aquarium Nemo Ocean Lamp
Published: March 13, 2010
When it comes to owning artificial life, few products deliver as many plastic pets as Innovage’s Living Aquarium Animated Nemo Ocean Lamp. Convert your drab apartment into the underwater lair of Aquaman or the lesser-known Submariner for the low price of just $25.00 (shipping and handling not included).
Compare this with similar products like the Apple iPad, which can cost over $800 and only show fish in two dimensions. The Living Aquarium Nemo Ocean Lamp does not require water or any other fluids, but can be used to smuggle gin into a ball game or concert. It is as versatile as it is beautiful.
See how the Living Aquarium Animated Nemo Ocean Lamp brightens up the aluminum siding and window unit of this mobile home:
Unlike live fish products, the Living Aquarium Animated Nemo Ocean Lamp does not leave an empty void in your soul by refusing to live for all eternity. When you die, it can become a family heirloom. For a limited time, Innovage is offering the Uncle Milton Deep Sea Jellyfish for just the price of shipping and handling:
This product receives a 92 rating for value, a 94 for versatility and a 97 for not dyingability.
One of the photos in this piece were from a call that I was on earlier in the night. I’m not going to tell you which one.
Ideally, we would have arrested the residents and been able to take more intrusive photos of the lamp, but it wasn’t that type of call.
I’ve got to have that jellyfish thing. Like, now.
I like to keep a combination of JP-1 and Grey Goose in mine.
@Chill: It’s OK. We know it’s your trailer. You managed not to give away any other identifying details, so no one will stalk you.
@MamaP: I, too, am oddly drawn to the tacky jellyfish thing.
I like the jellyfish thing too, but I’m afraid my dogs will attack it, it’s so life-like.
Little Acetabulum loves her little aquarium near her bed. Loves it. She talks to it. I’m pretty sure the jellyfish one would freak her out.
Chill, everytime I see one of those air conditioner units, I think of Dexter. Are you Dexter? Are you keeping slides of your victims’ blood in there? Admit it, that aquarium thingy is just to keep the souls of your victims company while you hunt.
Those things are good for hypnotizing babies, rednecks and redneck babies.
There is a pan-Asian restaurant that I frequent that has a massive fish tank, like at least thirty feet long and six feet tall. The fish inside are gigantic. It is above and behind the bar, and there are some TVs adjacent to it for customers, but the huge fish wind up watching TV. They all gather in the corner and stare at the TVs. Once I was at the bar and two very large orange koi started fighting. When these fish fight they look like they are kissing but they are actually trying to kill each other. I looked up at the TV and it was Mary Hart. I started laughing.
@BL: Your story proves what I’ve always told people: Koi are the worst fighters in the animal kingdom. When two koi start shoving each other, it’s just embarrassing for everyone.
So, um, you see. I was in the Georgia Aquarium yesterday and came across a big pile of these, and I, um, I seriously considered buying one and keeping it at my work cubicle. (I actually said “OOOoooOooOOooo!” when I saw it. Because I need something to stare at sometimes when I can no longer look at the dreck I’m churning out for our software.
*ashamed*