Smoke Signals – Monday

Hello and welcome to your Smoke Signals for Monday. Mondays suck and there’s no two ways about it, but if you read some of the below you’ll find yourself in awe, somewhat like if you were an ancillary but returning character in Frasier, before Martin got married and it all went a bit down hill. You’d be part of the best comedy in television, and even the dog likes you – that’s the kind of awe these links will provide. If you have to scream, do it into your elbow.

Christina Hendricks is quite an extraordinary looking woman. Here she’s wearing glasses and reading things, both of which are now forever erotic. I’m not that worked up about her bosom, believe it or not. It’s the red hair tied-up, her neck, the pale skin, and those eyes – one moment innocent, sometimes a flash of almost Chandler-esque promise. Gillian Anderson by way of Elvira, Mistress of the Dark. We must all worship her without staring too much.

The spirit of Neil Young is alive in well in these guitar-playing birds who are performing their “riffs” as part of an exhibition in London village, England. I am impressed that I’m linking to this without making a “Byrds” reference. Shit.

Did you watch the Grammys? Join in some live-blogging somewhere like the big nerds you are? Well, Beyonce won everything and now owns New York, Michael Jackson’s kids turned up, people won other stuff and there was some singing and Elton John and Lady GaGa played a piano made entirely out of giant, black cocks.

Alien lizard Kenyan Barack Obama kills off the whole idea of ever going back into space ever again by cutting the NASA budget to ribbons, ensuring some pretty cool technology languishes unseen and underutilized in a sad hanger somewhere.

Speaking of Kenyan Lizard Kings – the selfsame Communist Nazi Torch-singer “Barack Obama” sent a big bill to Congress, asking them to make sure that everyone who had a starter paid for it, and to add notes in the margin if they came across something dull that could be blown out of all proportion on rolling news stations. Harry Reid has commended him on his “clear, presentable tables of figures, just like something a white guy would do”.

Cocks – they sometimes get erect without you even wanting them to, even in public. What’s good about this is that there’s enough people out there taking enough pictures of everything that someone can amass a decent selection of “awkward boners” and present them to everyone else via a web page. NSFW, even though you don’t see anything, but some of them don’t leave much to imagination so be careful, you perv.

Speaking of cocks – here’s a lovely picture of a mushroom cloud. Kinky.