Some Facts That Perhaps Need Restating
Published: January 13, 2010
Hello my darlings! Isn’t the internet a lovely place? It’s filled with people saying lovely – if not vaguely pornographic – things about each other. Why only the other day a young lady commented on how nice my trousers were! Her trouser comment filled me with joy, but I still paid a hitman to push her down the nearest flight of stairs BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT THE INTERNET IS – IT’S FILLED WITH HATE THE MINUTE YOU THINK IT’S FILLED ONLY WITH LOVE AND IT CAN TURN ON YOU LIKE A MICROSCOPIC BOXER WEARING LITTLE NANO-GLOVES DANCING ON THE HEAD OF AN ATOMIC PIN.
Because I’ve now shocked you to your core with TEH TRUTH ABOUT THE INTERNET, let me continue re-stating some facts I believe need to be restated in the form of possibly multiple statements.
1. Wordsmoker – Oh, where to begin? 95% of the “stuff” you read on here is written by people who are not professional writers. For many of them, this is their first attempt at writing and getting published where others (besides close friends and family) might actually read them. Think of it as a selection of Tumblr’s or blogs, but Tumblr’s or blogs that actually get read by people you may not know.
2. If you don’t like the fact that 95% of the “stuff” you read on here is not written by “professional writers”, then please – fuck off. Sorry, but this is patently the wrong place for your eyes.
3. Because 95% of the people writing here are not professional writers, I find in my role as Editor that it makes me feel protective towards them. A lot of the time I’ve actually cajoled them into writing something for Wordsmoker because I believe that writing is fun. Weird, I know!
4. Several writers on here are not proofed or formatted by me. They just write and post and it’s published. In an ideal world, everyone writing here would be familiar with WordPress, and I wouldn’t have to spend 80% of my time doing this for others, but I consider it a worthwhile endeavor to get whatever it is they spent their time working on “out there”. Doing this for other people is a joy in itself, which is lucky, because I would’ve stopped doing it in January 2009 if it wasn’t.
5. If there’s something you think that isn’t being covered by Wordsmoker, then write it yourself. Otherwise you have no grounds for complaining. Anyone can write here. Anyone. About anything. Anything!
6. This – and I can’t restate this forcefully enough – isn’t Gawker. Not everyone here is a Gawkerite. Not everyone here came from Gawker. Most did, at the very beginning, but it’s not the case anymore. So – don’t expect Gawker coverage. No-one here is getting paid. People write here because they enjoy writing, and they do it when they can.
7. If you don’t like what you read, then shut the fuck up and read something else. This may sound harsh, but I refer you to my previous point – well, all of my previous points, really. On the flip-side – if you do like what you read, then please let the writer know. Or just comment. Or build on what they wrote. Put yourself in the writer’s position for a second, and think of the joy you’ll spread just by you typing something encouraging to them. Empathy!
8. From point 7 – if I believe that someone – no matter who they are – is being unduly harsh on anything written on here, then I reserve the right to shit on them from a dizzying height. If they’re being unduly harsh in public, then expect my response to be very public too.
9. This isn’t a writer’s workshop. There’s plenty of them out there on the internet. Join one of them and ask for criticism, good or bad. If you’re writing here, then publish and be damned. Fuck anybody’s poor opinion of what you wrote. It’s only their opinion, after all.
10. In reference to perhaps all my previous points – Wordsmoker is what you make it. No-one will adore every post, not everything you read will be of particular interest to you, some of it you may find “off-putting” or “Scottish”. I can’t help that, nor can anyone involved here, ever. If you want a site where everything meets your personal standards of approval, why don’t you make your own Tumblr thingy, and do that horrible re-blogging shit that passes for content these days.
11. If you don’t like these perfectly reasonable statements, or consider the vast majority of the Wordsmoker commenter collective to be too “politically correct” or “too nice” or “too kind” or “too understanding”, then please, don’t let the door of your browser hit you on the ass on the way out. Wordsmoker is what it is.
NOW LET THE META-META-WORDSMOKER-CIRCLE-JERK BEGIN
Some recent events yesterday, and some days before, need addressed, because I’m actually afraid that some of the lurkers here (hello!) who may have been thinking about writing something for Wordsmoker are now having second thoughts. And who could blame you! Or some of you with content waiting to get published could be shitting bricks, imagining the response their work might provoke from certain commenters. Because this has happened in public, I’m dealing with it in public, so here we go. Woo!
On Asking For Criticism, Good Or Bad: The idea has been floated previously about having some sort of writer’s workshop thing on here. I’m against it because there’s better places to do that in, and I personally prefer finished articles than those that are a work in progress. SamuraiPandaPoetry – an adorable man with impressive facial hair – is one of the writers on here with Author privileges, so whatever he writes gets published without my approval. He’s got these privileges because he knows how to use WordPress, and I trust him. If I knew he was writing a workshop piece, I’d have probably asked him not to, but there you go and the rest is history. Some of the criticism he received on that thread was absolutely fucking ridiculous, but he did ask for it, and certain opinionated little knives were sharpened and drawn. I let it – and the criticism – fly. But no-one will be asking for criticism again. I’ll pull any post doing it if they sneak under my radar.
On My Response To Lawyergay’s Post: If someone just landed on Wordsmoker and read that piece, I doubt they’d ever wish to write anything here ever. Or anywhere for that matter. Yes – Lawyergay is one of those folks with Author privileges, and his post also appeared after I’d publicly asked for nothing else to be posted on Tuesday, so we could all concentrate on writing the funny, dirty stuff on the most popular post Wordsmoker’s had since the day it came mewling into existence. Just to see how far we could take it. So I was already pissed when it popped up because it meant a) Lawyergay hadn’t read my previous post or b) Lawyergay had read my previous post and had chosen to ignore it. I really hope it’s “a”, which I’m sure it is. That aside – for someone who deems themselves an “extraordinarily talented reader”, it certainly appears that this incredible intellectual capability evaporated while he read his own piece back to himself prior to him publishing it. If he meant to be satirical – which he did mention in the comments after the fact – it failed, and failed dismally. It read like a man with fourteen chips on each shoulder banging his keyboard in frustration at everyone who isn’t him, or a commonly-agreed “great” writer. And with it coming so soon after his critical frenzy on SamuraiPandaPoetry’s post – it just seemed like someone twisting an originally-opinionated little knife. Hence me shitting on him from a dizzying height with my pastiche.
On Satire: Look – if you’re going to do “satire”, at least make it “funny” or add a category called “SATIRE” so we all get that you’re being satirical. Otherwise you look like a bitter, angry typist with a borderline-sociopathic grudge against anything that isn’t you. And if you have to add a “SATIRE” category, then maybe you shouldn’t be trying to write anything satirical.
On Commenting: If you’re Tigolbitties, learn to use the fucking shift key. No, really. I’ll ban you the next time I see one of your poorly-formatted blocks of wordshit in the comments. I and everyone else here goes to some length to use all the special buttons on their computer letterboards so that whatever we type is received in the best way possible. I scroll past whatever you type because it looks like crap – you could be combining quantum theory and general relativity in 40 words or less, and no-one would notice. Make this Special Effort, or don’t bother.
On Everything Else After This: I may have shat from a dizzying height on Lawyergay, but I know him offline and I also know him to be extremely kind and helpful, although sometimes hyper-critical at times. I’ve called him out on this before today, and I’ll call him out on it again should it happen in the future. I still trust him, he can still post without my approval because I value the time and effort he puts into his writing. But – and I cannot emphasize this enough – I beg you, possible future writer/commenter, do not let any of this put you off contributing to Wordsmoker. I may run the place in the background, but everyone has the right to have whatever they write published here without fear of reprisal, and I will defend you in public if that’s what it takes. Sometimes even in the form of pastiche.
On The Fact That You Might Not Agree With Any Of This: I can only apologize to you for my failings as you fuck off for good. If that’s the case – bye!
I still don’t understand why Tuesday took the fall in all of this. It’s because Tuesday is fat, isn’t it?
*stunned silence*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x3aOrgrGEwg
I just wanted to tell you how much I love WS, Virus. I honestly had not written anything in YEARS before coming here, but now I constantly look at things in my life and think “I should write about that for WS!” and sometimes I even sit down at Ye Olde Computer and actually do it! It’s been so liberating for me personally, to return to something that I used to love so much, but that I had let side by the wayside. I know I’m not the best writer in the world, but it’s been loads of fun to submit pieces here and have people actually comment on them. What an ego boost! I’ve even started working on the lame detective novel I’ve always wanted to write. It likely will not be shared with anyone EVER, but I would like to think that WS has given me the push I needed to get back into writing. Smooches to everyone here because I do so love this site, even when we argue, because in many ways we’re like a little family and all families argue from time to time.
@Maelstrom: You should be banned for that. Twilight is never the answer.
@KateKate: Thank you for saving me. I hadn’t clicked on the video yet, and now I won’t.
It’s strange, really. I don’t even like worms, yet here I am, can opener in hand, surrounded by a whole bunch of opened cans of squiggly treats.
Umm… sorry. All. My bad. I asked for it, and now I know better.
I will say, however, here, publicly, that LG’s ‘harsh’ criticism is indeed exactly what I asked for, and largely was the most useful to me. I hold nothing against him and actually thank him for letting my work have it. I cannot grow otherwise.
I did it because I knew that the other students in my class wouldn’t have the guts to tell me what they really thought and I also thought it would be kind of funny to have my homework posted, but I won’t be doing it in the context of a workshop again.
Again, apologies to all. WS is a great place to have your voice heard, and I encourage all to submit, submit, submit.
@SPP: Wait. So now you’re saying that my vague compliment about not really knowing poetry, but yours seeming alright was not the most useful feedback that you received? Now we’ve got problems with each other, Panda.
Also, I’m not thrilled about your worm bashing. It smacks of anti-wormism.
@SPP: I think I know from where you are coming – you admitted it was an intro workshop and maybe you think what you got from Lawyergay was helpful, but if you still feel that bullshit was helpful in a few years, I will be surprised. It’s the Thing to do in workshops but looking back 20 years to the time I dispensed the same kind of “helpful advice,” it shames me. Hope you rethink this, Panda.
I just want to apologize to you all for using the wrong “they’re” over here. I was in a hurry and probably had a headache. The coffee wasn’t strong enough and lunch or dinner or quitting time couldn’t happen soon enough.
I’d also like to thank you for the fornication faux pas thread–I’m bookmarking it for rereading on a rainy day…like this one!
@KateKate: Free your mind and the rest will follow.
@samuraipandapoetry: Criticism does not, in fact, require someone to be “critical,” only that they offer an honest appraisal of a thing, given their particular level of expertise. We each, in our own way, read your work and gave our particular take on it. I have written a fair amount of poetry, and while no one will mistake me for Robert Frost, e.e. cummings, or Carl Sandburg, I think I know a thing or two about writing and poetry. So, I read your work, and gave you my opinion, which was pretty favorable, because the poem was good work. Am I the arbiter of all that is good or bad in poetry? No, mine is merely one opinion. But do not confuse the lack of specific points or suggestions for improvement as non-criticism; if I’ve learned anything in writing, it is that a work is your own. You put yourself into it, and often the words you write convey a sense of who you are and how you “see” something. While I might challenge syntax, grammar, spelling, or even meter, that is not the essence of a poem, for if it were, I could simply write code to crank out poetry.
I’m not sure we can say for certain that Lawyergay, or I, or Virus, or Bookish, or Mama Penguino, or anyone else who may comment on a work can give an honest appraisal of it, because we see it in or own context. We hope that what is written touches us in a way that is familiar to us, and that we can empathize and identify with the content. Our criticisms must be seen in our context to have value, though certainly our reading of a thing may bring new insights to the fore that were not previously evident. I hope that in what I say, I can be helpful, but frankly, it is more important to me to encourage continued good work, and to help others see the true spirit of their writing. It is is too often easy to take criticism, especially negative criticism, as some sign of a personal flaw or lack of ability; we must bear in mind, that it may just be that the critic does not see the piece in the same way we do, and therefore may be missing the point.
In the end, only an author can evaluate the strength of a work. Others may give you other insights, or point out obvious problems involving structure or syntax, but only you can can truly know if a story, comment, or poem represents what you set out to accomplish. We are only guides — you must make the journey.
I’ve been reading here for a while, and commenting the past few months. I used to be a professional writer, mostly editing and proofreading, and thought this would be a great place to jump in and get my creative writing feet, long on the back burner, wet (mixed metaphors, I know). I don’t always agree with everything written here and think there are some people here who are elevated way past what their status calls for, but for the most part, things seem pretty fair. SPP did ask for criticism; LG gave it to him. Let this not become a great Jezebel (ptuey) circle jerk of political correctness, please. I’ve been kicked off there twice and at some point will begin giving my actual opinions here, and don’t want to live in fear of doing that.
Virus: (And I mean this truly and without any sarcasm intended)–You make me want to be a better man. Thank you for making this place, not only possible, but what it is. The time spent here is by far the best time spent by me on a daily basis, second only to that which I spend with my wife and son. Everything else is kinda lame and boring compared to how much enjoyment I derive from smoking words with you and the rest of the folks in here.
I’ve never done this before, never taken a writing workshop or studied literature or creative writing in school. And I too, just like MissPeacock said, now find myself thinking about things to write for Wordsmoker on a daily basis and then actually doing some writing for others to read. Which is awesome. And while I do enjoy some of the “arguments” or “debates” occasionally spurred by a given post, I agree that pissing on or otherwise shredding someone else’s work per se is probably a waste of time around these parts and mainly just harshes everyone’s mellow. So, I’ll end by saying thanks again, Virus. I love it here. Thank you for keeping it the way it is.
But yeah, fuck political correctness. That bitch don’t deserve the time of day around here.
Good writing, bad writing. We all know what we like. Bah. Whatever. What remains, however, is that critiques of fiction and poetry universally suck. If you’re not Maxwell Perkins, I don’t want to hear from you.
@Gerbs & BJ: Let’s not confuse being a fucking bastard with political incorrectness. I’ve YET to see political correctness on this site.
MP: If you’re publicly calling Lawyergay a “fucking bastard”, I think that’s going a tad too far.
Thank you for all you do Virus and for the gem “I will shit on you from a dizzying height”.
Ok, I would like this in audio format.
@Wrap: I only know one fucking bastard and he’s dead, thank god. Of course Lawyergay isn’t a fucking bastard. Sorry for the confusion.
@Wrap: I’ve changed my mind. He wasn’t really a fucking bastard, per se, but just a truly sick individual. The dead guy, that is. Lawyergay reminds me of The Misfit in “A Good Man is Hard to Find”: “Ain’t no pleasure but in meanness.”
@Wrap: No, that’s probably not true, either. LG can be super-mean, but I doubt that’s the only way he gets his pleasure. Don’t listen to me. I’m kind of stung by a few of his comments on a different post that were aimed at me, but really, it’s not important. I’m mostly flummoxed by the events that led up to this comment clusterfuck. I need to shut up.
Thanks for writing this clarification treatise, VWS. Like BJ, I am as far from a trained writer as one can get. But I’ve even had the guts to write a few things (really, go read them). At one point in my life I fancied myself someone who could write. Thankfully that didn’t go very far as I had a significant amount of 19 yr old male inertia that I just never overcame.
I enjoy coming here to read what others write. I love to read. Love it. That’s my internal compromise for never becoming any sort of writerly type. (I can’t play any musical instruments but I love music too. Weird).
Thanks for keeping this place what it is. Like BJ, other than family activities, this is far and away the best part of my day.
And Mama P, please stop calling LG a fucking bastard. He’s not. I love you, but name calling isn’t helping anything.
Virus: It was “a.” I didn’t intend to rain on everyone’s orgasm parade. I honestly did not know that there was a moratorium on commenting when I posted. Also, I have no idea what meta data is, but if you’ll explain to me how I put it into my post, then I’ll do it!
Look, guys. The “Your Poem/Short Story Sucks” was meant to be over the top. I tried to explain that last night. Clearly, the levity/asshole caricature I had intended was not coming through, and I’m truly sorry if I hurt anyone’s feelings.
But there was an unpleasant feeding frenzy atmosphere here yesterday that I really think was unnecessary. I wasn’t attacking anyone personally in any of the posts that you all got so worked up over. I made some critical comments about someone’s poem, not someone’s character. The ad hominem slams I received in return just strike me as a really disproportionate response to what I wrote.
Alternatively, Virus, maybe we can work out some kind of revenue sharing arrangement? How about 3 cents every time I get called a bitter twat, a fucking bastard, or am shat on from a dizzying height?
@Fractured: I didn’t, but okay.
@Ad hominem like your “Modest Proposal” comment? Ugh. I hate myself more and more every time I comment, so I’m out.
Mama P: Peace. I think we like each other too much to be feuding.
@LG: will send you an e-mail. Peace here, too.
Also, didn’t y’all like the way I was “out” and then came back? I’m the original uncool person.
Don’t we all know the difference between reacting to writing and reacting to a person? When I say that the Twilight books are trashy, isn’t it clear that I don’t know Stephanie Meyer personally and therefore shouldn’t call her an insufferable twat? Isn’t it also a given that I bought and read all 4 of her books and enjoyed the hell out of that trash? The point is that writing is vulnerable, and people don’t always like what you put out there, even if they make you a zillionaire from your teen vampire stories. Every writer suffers from self-doubt, wondering if what we write is as bad as we fear it is. Actually, I hadn’t submitted anything for publication in years until Lawyergay encouraged me to write for Wordsmoker. He is a passionate advocate for this site, a scrupulous reader/editor, and one of the most talented writers I’ve ever known. I get that people think his criticisms are “mean,” but these character attacks- wow! Really shitty. If you don’t like what LG writes, say that (even in the form of “your blog post sucks”), but these personal attacks would make anyone – lurker or chatterbox – balk at what it means to be part of this “writing” community.
a few years ago i was a ‘reader’ for a time, meaning i wrote critical coverage of screenplays for a small production company. i was brutal in my work, but my points were valid. one of my coverages inadvertently got back to the writer, who was understandably upset at my puncturing the fruit of his creative soul with poisoned ebert-esque barbs.
i later gave the matter some thought and realized that while my criticisms were valid, the manner in which i expressed them were neither necessary nor helpful to anyone but me, and for the most selfish of reasons. The reason i was so cutting was to salve my insecurities and frustration with my own writing not meeting my very high standards. but hey, at least i write better than that guy, right?
lawyergay: your points were valid but unnecessarily mean.
i was preparing a very silly and mildly humorous piece for publication on wordsmoker, but i have now nixed the idea; this is not the universally supportive place i had thought it to be.
Hermione: Of course it’s not “universally supportive,” but please don’t let that keep you from posting here.
See #7 and #8 above.
If anyone actually finds what must be Star Bright Park, where those in the creative disciplines are “universally supportive,” let me know & I’ll be right over on my unicorn that has episodes of Green Acres on demand. I also have an Aeron saddle and wrap my meaty, sympathetic arms around them all. Match me, Sydney.
WILL wrap my…
My metadata needs refreshing.
@MP Ryan Seacrest does that all the time. He is “out” and then whoooosh, he is back.
He’s REFRESHING HIS METADATA!
I will now call vodka, “metadata” for the rest of my life.
@Hermione Guttersnipe: I’m sorry you feel that way, even after I spent 1635 words stating the complete opposite. Did you actually read the above post?
Hey Virus, Thank you for this and I agree 100%! Nice resolution. And I read it aloud to my hubs, so you have made another fan.
I look at this as a learning (and bonding?) experience for us as a community. We all come from different backgrounds with different personality types, so some of us have no problem with their honesty laced with brutality whereas others cannot and will not stand for that. In the context of this site, it is now clear what is accepted. I don’t think this equates to political correctness, but it does require an awareness of cause and effect and sensitivity to how your words are interpreted by others, particularly online. Learning this skill can only benefit us as writers.
And I say, “us,” because I am throwing down the gauntlet (on myself?), here publicly, that I will in one month’s time submit something to Sir Virus for potential inclusion on WS if it is deemed worthy. I have lurked along for months and have been building up courage, in between puking sessions, but this little experience has pushed me over the edge to jump in. Thanks for that, and here’s hoping I don’t suck too bad.
But, Hermione G., now I really want to read said silly and mildly humorous piece! Please reconsider!!!
@SlickaNicka: You just lifted my heart!
@SlickaNicka: You couldn’t suck (in a non-sexual way) if you wanted to. Bring it on!
Yeah, Slicka! Bring it!
I love this place.
Slicka: very encouraging.
I’m one who submitted her first piece ever on Monday, T-1. I picked the training wheels essay, 20 Things about Me. Tuesday was my birthday. The site blew the fuck up. Yes, I was beginning to get a complex. Thank you, Virus, for easing my mind (which really shouldn’t have been so self-absorbed anyway).
Alright, being a newbie and reading the posts backward, I’m being the dork who posts on items that are “old.”
I think your post should be e-mailed to each person joining Wordsmoker. Just so they know what they’re getting into. Had I read this a few days ago when I initially joined, I would have been even more excited than I already was when ChillBear told me about it. Plus, you weed out all the people who would clog up the comments with their “I don’t get it” tirades in all lowercase and no punctuation.
I already had a pretty good idea what WS was all about, and Virus just solidified it for me, therefore increasing the awesomeness that is WS. Thank you.
Welcome, Marsh! And thank you for submitting your “20 Things About Me.” It should see the light of day soon. Even though you know Chillbear.
Thanks, Rene Sance! I apologize in advance for possible and future comments I may make after posts have long gone fallen off the front page.
It’s not a problem, Marsh, but be prepared for any comments you make on old posts to be overlooked. The most recent dozen or so comments are referenced on the right-side pane, but on a busy day it will fall off of there pretty quickly.