Dateline 20/20 The Palins!
Published: November 21, 2009
Barbara Walters is so brave. She went to Alaska and interviewed the Palins and somehow didn’t get pregnant, shot anything or get raped. At least not on camera. Barbara Walters promises to ask the hard questions and get the answers. Here is the reader digest version for those of you who didn’t stay up to watch this. I am still not sure who would win in a staring contest between them though.
Alright, so they start off with some crappy easy questions and background story. This is really boring though because we all know that Sarah Palin is crazy and wrote a book. GET TO THE GOOD STUFF BARBARA!
Barbara gets into her maybe pregnancy with Trig and asks a question only she or Oprah could ask. “Did you consider abortion?” Seems like an easy question for the right to lifer but wait OMG Sarah Palin thought about an abortion! Scandal! Baby Killer! She still finds a way to make abortion sound like the Holocaust but she thought about it! After some serious thought (or after she couldn’t talk her daughter into “making it go away”) she decides to keep the baby because “God won’t give her more then she can handle”. She is just like one of those inspirational kitteh posters.
Wait – but she admits that she understands why women would abort a Down’s Syndrome baby. Oh the right to life people are going to hate her. She can’t say that can she?
So how does Sarah tell her other children about their sibling (or cousin)? She tells them she is having a baby but they kept the Down’s a secret from the other kids. Skeletons in the family closet! In her infinite wisdom she decided the best way to break the news was to write a letter from God! She thinks she is GOD! And she can tell her kids that their little brother is awesome in words of GOD! But Trig was early so they never got that letter and had to just find out at the hospital when he was born. The postal service doesn’t give special treatment anyone I guess, not even GOD!
Barbara Walters admits she has special feelings about kids…awkward! Oh wait – it is a sad story about her sister.
Sarah tells Barbara people were mean about Trig on the interwebs. Look to your right and left. All of those assholes made fun of Sarah and Trig. But not because of his Down’s – because his mom is a crazy. And he may be her grandson, not her son. And he has a stupid name.
Oh noes Todd is going to talk. Who let him out of his special room! Todd rambles on about nothing then says he is is going to hunt Trig! Run Trig run!
Barbara finally talks about the elephant in the room. Sarah is really proud of that kill. Then Barbara mentions that Sarah is old and Barbara wants her to stop having babies! Sarah agrees but won’t be using that Satan pill or family killer condoms. Sarah is ready to have grand kids though, whew because, well, she has one (or maybe two). She would really like her kids to keep in their pants though for a few more years. I wish they would all just be spaded or neutered.
The moment I have been waiting for has come! Barbara asks if it’s true that Sarah calls, “Twig, tweh wetwawded baby”! Barbara asked it! AHHHHHHH! Of course Palin denies it, but it is out there! I know this is sick and wrong and I know that no mother would call her child that (hopefully). I just get a kick out of someone calling that twat rag out on her shit.
Sarah bashes Levi for a while. He isn’t paying child support. He is a male model whore. But she hopes one day he will be a part of his baby’s life again. I am okay with Levi disappearing into Alaska too, maybe Todd can take him hunting.
Barbara then informs us that Sarah thinks she is on a reality show. Well it is a bit like the Real World minus having to have a job to stay on the show. You see Sarah – on the Real World if you quit your job you get kicked off the show and you don’t get invited to the challenges or get to write a book about it. Even MTV has a better sense of work ethic then Sarah Palin.
What is Sarah Palin’s perfect day like now that she has lots of free time? Her perfectly happy day would be one at home with the kids and Todd raping Alaska, making moose chili, sniper watching those commie Russians and world peace. That is just cozy!
Barbara won’t eat the moose chili!
Be honest: Is Todd like 100% less hawt now that you’ve heard his voice? I had never heard him speak before…NOW I KNOW WHY.
Also, when the camera got that weird low angle on Bawbwa’s face, I nearly spewed. Ew. How is these are the people that live in notoriety? HOW? World? Officially farked.
Isn’t Sarah Palin lucky that she lives in a world where abortion could even be an option? She seems oblivious to the fact that the very choice she had the right to consider is one that she would like to see taken away from other women. Oh, the irony!
Barbara Walters can no longer be considered even close to a credible interview — any teeth she had have been filed down to dull stubs. She and Larry King are the King and Queen of the Powderpuff Interview.
And as to Sarah Palin, the only way we’ll be rid of her is if the mainstream media decides to stop covering her, which they will when it becomes clear that she is going to say and do the same things over-and-over again. MSM likes titillation and sensation, and Sarah Palin could deliver that during the campaign, but after the glow of the book wears off, will no longer be able to supply them with new, neatly-packaged sound bites. The only way she could possibly stay relevant past 2010 is if she joins the cast of The Hills.
Newt: I have a hard time picturing Larry as the king of anything, and an easier time of picturing him as the withered, sere old buffoon who leaps around in a funny hat and tries to entertain the crowd with his idiotic asides and pathetic attempts at engaging the subject before him.
Plus, he skeeves me out.
Gerbils:
@gerbilsinlove: Well, it was more of a play off of his name, but yes, you have to wonder just how long his contract is with CNN… did they lock him in for like, a hundred years? I suspect that in the future, he will be a head talking in a glass jar, a la Futurama.
@Newt: It is now not about the content of the interview, but who gets the interview first. One of many reasons why journalism is tying its own noose and climbing onto the footstool.
@Gerbils: King has clearly figured out the Stepford Wife formula. I can think of no other reason for attractive women to be kissing him.
BC: That is just profanely gross. And right before lunch time.
MamaP: Clearly he pays her a lot.
@Gerbills: No, I cannot believe that. There is NO amount of money I would accept for that kind of liver-spotted “loving.”
Newt: Or The View.