2 Second TV Review – The Vampire Diaries
By DahlELama
Published: October 12, 2009
Published: October 12, 2009
I wanted this show to suck. No, I don’t mean that in a cute, pun-ish way; I mean that I wanted this show to be so godawful that it would be pulled off the air faster than The Beautiful Life actually was pulled off the air. But you know what? It’s kind of…really, really good. The romances are fairly well-developed, they incorporate all the little vampire things (e.g. not being allowed to enter a home without being invited) without beating you over the head with them, the men are absolutely beautiful, and the villainous brother regularly makes me jump out of my seat in terror. If Twilight looked like this, I might actually be tempted to watch it.
Dahl – GET OUT OF MY HEAD! I started watching this hoping it would be a train wreck and now I am hooked.
I actually read these books (there are 4 of them) around 1991, when they first came out. I was obsessed with them, much like preteens today are obsessed with Twilight. Still, I can’t bring myself to watch this show; I would rather preserve the memories I have from my youth, instead of sullying them with these actors who LOOK NOTHING LIKE THEY DID IN MY HEAD. Bah.
Miss P- I like that the kids in this series are all somewhat happy and outgoing (or used to be). They are those weird kids eating lunch in a dark corner and not talking to anyone. Seriously Cullen family, even the emo kids think your taking this a little too far.
Dahl, the friend’s witch story as well as the troubled brother’s story lines are the best parts.
@Dahl: As much as I respect your opinion on all things television, I’m afraid that the planet has reached vampire saturation. I can’t take anymore vampire shows or writing. An exception to the latter would be if any Wordsmoker is writing a vampire story. You know I will read anything that you guys put out, but I digress.
We have vampires, werewolves, witches, mummies and zombies as our major categories of monsters. I may have left one or two out, but in all of human existence, is this really all that we can come up with? I can’t believe that I’m saying this, but if we can’t even come up with some decent new literary monsters, then we may deserve whatever we get in 2012.
@DAHLELAMA: I’m goin’ with CHILLBEARLATRIGUE on this one. Too many vampires, too many of them simply plastic, painted on, and perky, to appeal to a short-attention-span generation that has never see Nosferatu or actually read Bram Stoker. Vampires are now so watered-down, they are simply cartoons.
NEF- i have read both Bram Stoker and Twilight. I have read Ann Rice and watched the vampire diaries, and I have to day that what this “new” vampire trend is something different then the classic lust driven monster. It is a romanticizing of gender roles. With Stoker and Rice we saw vampires as lust driven and sexuality open creatures. No we are seeing them as virgins and soul mates. It is really kind of interesting.
but also who wants to make goo goo eyes with a mummy?
I think the thing that concerns me most about vampires is what if I were to become a vampire on a day where I felt fat and unattractive. Would I be fat for all eternity then?
I may be flamed for this, but I read all four Twilight novels, including the partial fifth novel on the website, and thought they were fun. But I do agree with Newt and Chilly – there are a lot of cliched monsters around. I want to see the movie 9. Has anyone seen it?
Also I need to proof what I am writing; sweet Jesus that was bad!
Mama- No judging here I read part of Midnight Sun that is online as well. although I didn’t think she handled writing from his perspective as well. it was too feminine, for lack of a better word.
@STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: I guess I have a hard time taking them seriously, all dolled up. I’m more a Creature From the Black Lagoon, The Blob kind of guy. I do admit, most movies that are intent on scaring people don’t phase me in the least. That may be why I’m not into Halloween — most of it is not actually scary.
While I fully agree that the world has been overly saturated with romantic supernatural creatures as of late, here’s the trick that allows me to like The Vampire Diaries–I’ve completely ignored the rest of it. With the exception of the only-lasted-one-season Moonlight which was on CBS two years ago (and which I only watched because it starred Jason Dohring of Veronica Mars), I have fully and completely ignored all things vampire, werewolf, alien, zombie, and all the rest. Sure, the world may be obsessed, but since I haven’t read or seen Harry Potter or Twilight, it’s new to me.
While I wouldn’t suggest the grown men might enjoy The Vampire Diaries to the same extent as chicks in their mid-twenties, I would say that you might be making the mistake of assuming you hate everything in this genre without actually consuming anything in this genre. (And no, Anne Rice doesn’t count–she’s been writing for decades, and yes, I’ve read her too–it’s a whole different world.) Just putting that out there.
I’m actually taking a class now called Writing For T(w)eens, and my teacher’s theory is that Fantasy YA is on its way out and will soon be replaced with Historical. I anxiously await, but in the meantime, loving me some Vampire Diaries.
NEF- yeah there is nothing scary about an emo vampire virgin that sparkles in the sun and lives a vegetarian life style.
that’s sad you don’t like Halloween
@SS: Yeah, I thought it was kind of tedious, even. We’d already been over that ground, so let’s move on!
@Newt: Did you ever see Frogs, made in 1972? It’s fantastic!
DAHLELAMA, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?
MP- she wrote a short piece from Rosalie’s point of view that was decent.
Dahl- I would agree with your theory of historical following shortly. The knock you over te head Victorian aspects of twilight lead that way and the stories of the characters becoming vampires are straight up historical fiction. add to that this whole Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and Sense and Sensibility and Sea Monsters thing that is happening.
Haha sorry Mama P, I was in DC for Simchat Torah which equals 2 days of no Internet plus a 2.5-hour car ride home. I didn’t get your e-mails until laaate last night, and I’ve been working my ass off to finish my writing assignments, which I literally just e-mailed out to my class, but I’m baaaack!
@STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: I think it may be because I grew up in rural Vermont, so I never got into the trick-or-treating or anything like that. I do like costumes, but the problem I have with Halloween is that, like Christmas, it’s all become so commercial. On Halloween, if you’re a guy, you’re expected to dress up as a pirate or vampire or skeleton; women are supposed to dress as a sexy [INSERT JUST ABOUT ANYTHING HERE]. And kids don’t make their own costumes anymore — it’s all prepackaged, over-priced junk.
That said, I make sure my kids get to go trick-or-treating, and help my wife decorate the house. She wants me to dres up as a vampire (*sigh*), so I will, because I like to make her happy.
@MAMA PENGUINO: Heard of it but never saw it… is it out on DVD?
@SS: I can’t really call it my theory but yeah, I think it’s what’s coming. Honestly, I’d forgotten that there were YA genres outside of romance, but historical YA appears to be cropping up with a vengeance.
@NEF: I’m really gonna need you to put a pic of yourself in costume on Facebook.
NEF- are we talking Stoker Vampire or Twilight Vampire? I think you could really pull off that body glitter look, just remember to look tortured and brooding the whole time ok?
@DAHLELAMA: I will do my best, but I’m not photogenic on my best days…
@STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: I’m thinking Stoker… while I can look tortured and brooding (and often do, much to my wife’s consternation), the thought of body glitter makes me break out in hives.
@DahlELama: I’m breathing better now that its all behind me. These two days are bad but luckily we were spared from any three days.
@UO: Oh, just wait until next year, darling. Three days, all! Just be glad you don’t have in-laws to share them with…
@DL: The worst part is that I lost all my weekends this past month and now I’m at work making up Yom Kippur (was a Monday). My office is empty now except for me and the three other Jews who work here.
@DahlE: We had THE best Simchat Torah service on Friday night. It was Little P’s consecration and so a lot of my family was there. I’m glad you’re back.
@Newt: Agreed for the most part on Halloween, but last year I found THE most fantastic costume on eBay:
I cannot begin to tell you how darling Little P was in this costume. She’s picked out some sort of sexy satan costume (yes, in the kiddie catalog, go figure) that I’ve not bought because I’m trying to get her to go with her second choice, Wonder Girl. I have no problem with the packaged costumes given I had to come up with my own when I was a kid and one year I put a yellow sheet over me, a rubber band at the top, and went as a banana. My mom just didn’t have the time to deal with it.
Yes, Frogs is on DVD:
@MAMA PENGUINO: I have to show that to my wife — she loves Madeline.
@Newt: If you want to see a picture of Little P in that costume, send me your e-mail address. Also, if you have a daughter who wears a size 3T, I would send it to you! (Or anyone else – this costume is awesome, people!)
@MP: Can’t you just make Little P wear that every day? Dammit, I would! All my friends’ toddler girls are tomboy-ish, or their moms are. Which is all well and good, but I now have a hankering to make a Madeline coat and no child to force to wear it.
@DahlE & Strawberry: Glad I’m not the only one. I fully expected this show to be awful, and start every episode thinking, Yup, this will be the one where it all falls apart. And then it doesn’t, and I’m amazed. It is Dawson’s Vampires, but Ian Somerhalder is wickedly good, and the girl from Degrassi is better than expected given her work on that show. They are burning through story like The OC, though, and they’re going to spin out eventually. I can’t see how they can play the storyline out for five 22 episode seasons. The OC had its characters repeat junior year, and hoped we wouldn’t notice, just to have an extra season in high school. They’ll have to figure out how to send vamps to college, or do the bizarre and annoying “we’ve had 12 episodes but only two weeks have passed!” time drip of True Blood.
@Mockingbird: Yesterday I made the unfortunate error of looking up the Vampire Diaries books, which I have never read, on Wikipedia. Judging by the books, I’m willing to guess there’s a decent amount of material left, but I’m also guessing there’s a community college in everyone’s future, which doesn’t really bother me since they haven’t shown anyone desperately aspiring to the Ivy League to get their ass out of podunk-town, VA. But anyway, live in the moment! Right now, the show is awesome, and if it starts to suck, I’ll be right behind you with my pitchfork.