Women – Be Proud Of Your Pussy. Please.
Published: October 08, 2009
Vagina. It’s such a beautiful word for such a beautiful thing. Lyrical, poetic, delicate, yet powerful. I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know a fair few vaginas in my time, as well as their lucky owners. I’ve licked, fingered, lightly-drummed, teased, kissed, flicked, spread and yes, inserted my man-penis repeatedly into them. Vaginas rock. Period.
Unfortunately for some vagina owner/operators out there, it seems that having one is a source of embarrassment, to the point that they have trouble reaching orgasm, or even going for a gynecological exam. From The Globe and Mail:
Women who feel negatively about female genitalia find it harder to have an orgasm and are less likely to get regular gynecological exams, says a new study from Indiana University.
They are also often more critical of their own genitals – and other women’s – than men are, according to the study, published in the current issue of the International Journal of Sexual Health.
This depresses me immensely. Not only is the vagina a wonderful source of pleasure, it’s also a pretty damn complex part of the female body. Maybe something to do with it having the ability to produce little people – I dunno, I’m only a big fan, not an expert. Anyway, something as wonderful as a vagina needs to be looked after by its owner, never mind being praised by those who lust after them. It does seem, though, that women (not for the first time in their existence) are being their own worst enemy:
The anxiety some women feel about their genitals is rooted in messages gleaned from parents and pop culture
Eh?
“Individuals may adopt negative attitudes toward women’s genitals as a result of cultural-level scripts that suggest that women’s genitals are unclean or dirty,” writes Dr. Herbenick, who is also associate director of Indiana’s University’s Center for Sexual Health Promotion in the School of Health, Physical Education and Recreation.
This is a new one on me. Depressing!
Such scripts come from words used in feminine-hygiene commercials, for example, and the practice of some parents and teachers who instruct young girls not to touch themselves “down there.”
Okay – WHAT?
Recalling the euphemistic television ads for Massengill douche – the ones in which mothers and daughters stroll a beach or sail while chatting about vaginal freshness – Dr. Herbenick said: “These images of the women walking on the beach are pretty salient in our minds. Growing up, we’ve seen these commercials. Even if we never felt like we bought into those ideas, we’ve certainly heard of them, we know them, we know the taglines.
Oh. My. God. Forgive me for being Scottish, and living in a faux-socialist wonderland, but “feminine hygiene commercials”? On TV? Apologies for sounding snooty, but there’s no way in the fucking world that anything like that would get shown on UK TV. There’d be riots in the streets, questions in The Commons, bombs planted and slogans spray-painted on walls relating to balls and why they will now be kicked, repeatedly. You really do take this whole “capitalism” thing too far sometimes, America.
“Women who are shopping for condoms in drugstores may see these sex wipes or baby wipes on the shelf, and even if they’re not buying them, there’s a sense with products that we don’t see for men that women’s genitals are dirty and need to be cleaned.”
Sex wipes? SEX WIPES? Okay, I don’t have a lot of disposable cash, but the only “sex wipe” I’ll ever need is my eager, probing tongue. “Sex wipes”? FUCK OFF.
The study involved 362 women and 241 men aged 18 to 23. Dr. Herbenick asked them to rate statements such as “Women’s genitals are beautiful,” “Women’s genitals are ugly,” and others.
Women were particularly concerned about “the way their genitals look, as well as the way they smell and taste,” Dr. Herbenick said.
Okay. Like cocks, there’s a vast range of them out there. Your pussy is your pussy. It may not look exactly like the woman’s next to you, but it’s still a pussy. And here’s some brutal, honest truth, vagina owner/operators – pussies do smell. They smell great. They smell like pussy. And, strangely enough – they taste like pussy too! Yummy!
Men were generally more positive than women, a point that didn’t surprise the author.
“Men are more relaxed and open and accepting of women’s genitals. Women are assuming the worst, and they’re anxious, and men are just happy to be invited to the party.”
Hah! This may be the first time in recorded history that men actually seem to have more common sense than women.
“Men are more relaxed and open and accepting of women’s genitals. Women are assuming the worst, and they’re anxious, and men are just happy to be invited to the party.”
This is because “women are just a lot more critical of all of their body parts,” she said.
Oh, the halcyon days of “pussy parties”. How I miss them! (I think they were popular in the ’70’s) So, you’re not happy enough what with worrying about your tits or ass or legs, you want to extend this paranoia towards the vagina? SHAME ON YOU.
But such negative attitudes can have a direct impact on orgasm, she found. The women who were positive about female genitalia found it much easier to climax while receiving cunnilingus, probably because they weren’t as anxious about how they looked or smelled, Dr. Herbenick wrote.
Honey, you look, taste and smell just fine. Now shut up and grab my head and bury it between your thighs.
With the exception of the increasingly common “sex wipe” – this is effectively a baby wipe for adult women – current marketing campaigns have swung away from hygiene and now focus largely on appearance, Dr. Herbenick said. She pointed to the growing popularity of female genital cosmetic surgery, Brazilian waxing and ads for grooming products.
The author attributes the shift to the proliferation of hard-core pornography, in which vulvas have been standardized as hairless and uniformly shaped.
Okay – no offense, but if I’m dating a vagina owner/operator, and “sex wipes” happen to fall out of your purse, our relationship kinda ends there, because I’m probably now seeing you as some sort of secret hooker or something. And I dunno what kind of “hardcore pornography” they’re talking about, cos the stuff I look at has pussies of all shapes, sizes and hirsuteness. There’s hair, no hair, trimmed hair and fucking lovely labia everywhere. Little lips, big lips, lips you just want to explore forever, suck on, lick, flick, big clits, little clits, clits that look like little cocks. And that’s just the external fun! THERE’S MORE INSIDE!
“There’s this focus on women’s genitals and how they look,” Dr. Herbenick said.
She found that fixation is also affecting how often women see their gynecologist. Some are avoiding their doctor when they are suffering from symptoms such as odour and discharge, precisely the best time to visit a doctor for an accurate diagnosis, Dr. said.
That, my dears, depressed the shit out of me. So, you’re worrying so much about how your pussy looks it’s actually endangering your health? No. No. No.
Younger women, meanwhile, hesitate to go in for their first exam because “they’re worried about how they look,” she said. Still others are “too afraid” to self-examine at home, for fear of what they might see.
Oh for fuck’s sake. Is this just a mixture of misogynistic “jokes” and corporate bastards just trying to sell you “sex wipes” or some sort of surgery? I haz teh angries.
Dr. Herbenick said the findings could be useful for sex therapists, and could also guide parents in helping their daughters feel more comfortable in their own skin. That could include teaching them accurate names for their genitals – instead of “down there.”
Any parent using the sad euphemism “down there” should have their children taken from them within 24 hours of first uttering it.
Okay to overshare? You bet! I love telling a woman how great her pussy is, because pussy is great. If we’re fuck-struck, and it’s looking like it won’t just be a one-nighter, I like to get them to show me how they like to be pleasured. Obviously it’s not a conversation you have over dinner, or while waiting in line at the cinema – it’s more a convo you have post-coital, when you’ve shed your inhibitions. There is nothing – nothing - like watching your woman pleasure herself, and the tips you get are priceless. Not all lips or clits or the lovely inner bits I’ve barely touched on here (hah) like the same sort of activity. Every woman I’ve had the pleasure of likes loves their pussy licked, kissed, rubbed with the tip of my cock, fingered – the list could go on forever. There’s so much fun you can have! And it all results in the best sound ever - a woman reaching orgasm.
The truth? Be honest and trusting with your partner, and they will make you come like never before. And repeatedly.
Please, women – be proud of your pussy. It’s really something to be proud of.
That’s it–I’m heading to Scotland.
NEXT WEEK – YOUR ASS.
I was with you ’til “Period.”
Just kidding, I’m fine with that too, but the placement did make me laugh. Intentional?
I’m Nora Darling and I approve this message.
@Kneetoe: Intentional. We don’t use “period” over here – instead it’s “full stop”.
WORDPLAY. I HAZ IT.
That was totally hott. With two T’s even. I have a friend who HAAAAATES having oral sex performed on her (by her own husband, even!) because she thinks it’s gross that someone’s face would be “down there” (her words, for realz) with all the smells and other things going on. Yet she’ll still give blow jobs, even though her face is “down there.” Seriously, I would never date someone who wouldn’t go down on me and who wasn’t good at it. My last boyfriend was like THE KING OF ORAL SEX and it was better than anything in the entire universe. I miss this more than the companionship and love aspect of our relationship.
*fans self at the memory*
I hope that one day I can find a man as appreciative of these things as Our Fair Virus.
@Virus: Bravo, darling. It is the best sound ever. May you hear it again, repeatedly, and right soon.
It’s not often that Virus gets down on his knees.
Oh wait, yes it is.
*Raucous applause and whistling*
Amen, Brother Virus!! Can I get an amen for pussy?!?!?!?
What the fuck is this, a graduate seminar on Chomsky’s Manufacturing Cunt Scent?
none of you can see me blushing but our my checks ever red!
this makes me want to do something with my god given vagina and I don’t think it’s go to the doctor.
@STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE: God-given? Is there any other kind? Is Satan doling out vaginas on street corners?
@MissP: Urgh. That’s depressing too. What a waste, and a myriad of missed opportunities.
You also hit on a good point – “it was better than anything in the entire universe” – when it’s good, and you know what you’re doing, it is.
Nef- I don’t know what Satan is up to but there are lots of doctors making them out there.
Rosa: Zing!
VWS: As always, very funny tags, especially the second one, which might truly be genius.
So, I’ve never used a sex wipe, but it kinda seems to me that they would make my pussy taste bad, like perfume or something, instead of the other way around.
@Rosa: Oh, you and your “C” word!
Chomsky, I mean.
@Fifi: Good point. When I’m “down there” I’m really not looking to smell “elderberries of the forest” or “pine scented freshness”. Pussies are moist for a reason.
Especially when I’m around. HAH!
Servicey AND sexy! Virus, you are right on, brother. Sex smells good whether it’s a woman’s labia or a man’s testicles; the smell is earthy, primitive and sends me into orbit whether I’m smelling it on a man or tasting myself on a man’s mouth (Part 2 is on it’s way, btw). I dated a guy who insisted I shower before he would go down on me and sadly, I went along with it. Mr. Penguino was just the opposite; he wanted to bathe in my scent and that’s such a huge turn-on.
Little Penguino is very interested in her genitalia and we talk about what everything’s called and what it’s for: “That’s your vulva and it surrounds your labia and your clitoris. That right there? It’s for fun and for only you to touch. You probably ought to be by yourself when you touch it. That’s for fun, too, but you won’t need that for many years to come.” Then Mr. P fucked it up last night by replying to her query, “How do babies get out of the mama’s body?” with “from their vaginas.” That cannot have sounded fun to a 5-yr-old, even though it was the right answer.
@Mama P: It’s so nice to hear of someone being open and honest with their little girl. My parents never ever ever ever EVER talked about sex, unless it was in a “DON’T YOU DARE DO IT UNTIL YOU’RE MARRIED” kind of way, and it really did warp me. Even to this day I sometimes have a nagging feeling that what I’m doing is wrong, although I haven’t gotten laid in months, so it’s kind of a moot point right now. But seriously, major props to you. If I should ever have children, I hope to be the kind of open mom you are.
VwS: So, was writing this pičkin dim?
Weird adults are always telling people not to touch themselves or do anything at all fun. My 6th grade teacher told us boys during sex class (the girls went down the hall to a female teacher) that anal sex was “street sex” (really? which street?!) and was not to be engaged in by the wholesome about-to-flower youth of the Bay State. The notion of engaging in such “street sex” with each other, of course, was absolutely beyond the pale.
Eat a peach!
@MamaP: Foul, Mama! Foul, foul, unsexy, foul. There is no place in this piece for a Little Penguino story. You know I have a great fondness for you and the relationship that you have with your daughter, but this is supposed to be a fun, sexy adult thread, where women reveal things about their vaginas to us.* If this was my week, you would be receiving the biggest un-Pokie ever distributed in Wordsmoker history.
*me
This whole notion of vaginoplasty is just – where’s Susan Faludi when you need her? We need a “Backlash Redux” for the post-feminist generation.
Virus, I’m not sure what porn YOU watch, but most porn stars I know do have depressing similar-looking vaginas. Small inner and outer lips, and hairless, of course.
I know Helman will back me on this. The goddamn hegemony of hairlessness in this culture is getting completely out of control. First of all, Brazilian waxes HURT LIKE THE DICKENS. Secondly, they could cause actual injuries. And we can’t all be like Julia Allison and use our trust funds for the laser hair removal on the cooch that she is always lauding (shut up Julia you twit!).
Basically, my attitude is any guy I am naked with should be happy with the state of my vagina. And in case you’re wondering, I shave as much as possible and trim the rest. I’m goddamn ITALIAN, and I don’t understand these women who SWEAR it’s possible to shave it all. I don’t have three hours a day to devote to pubes maintenance.
But I’m a feminist and I’ve learned to love myself and not take shit from men about my vagina. If only all women had discovered Naomi Wolf at age 14, as I did.
I also grew up Catholic and was told anal sex was unnatural, but that’s another column altogether.
@Rosa: I think some are, now.
@Unfun: As you well know, I have a vast range of tastes in porn.
Completely bald vaginas sort of freak me out. They feel weird. Never mind the stubble.
Mama P: We’ve always been open with Ian, and never used silly little words for things. He’s always known what vaginas do, and knew about sex (on a basic level) by eight. But wait till your little one gets his age; he’s almost 12 now, and things are getting more complicated, and for some reason, I am the one he comes to for answers. Nocturnal emissions? Me. Erections? Me again. Girls? Yep, that would be me. Last week, we had a very detailed discussion about rape and porn (he now shares a locker room with 7th and 8th graders – it’s been quite an interesting school year).
As for the whole vagina thing – maybe it’s because I’m an Olde, and child from the 70’s, but I don’t get the whole “let someone pour hot wax all over your tenders and let someone rip your hair all out” thing. A nice trim keeps it all neat, and allows for cleaning. And thanks for making me realize that all vaginas don’t look the same and HOLY SHIT, maybe mine is wrong! I must go look – RIGHT NOW.
@Chillbear: Really?
@GerbilsInLove: I always went to my mother to ask anything like this. My father just blushed and harumphed, as far as I can remember.
Also. He was a fucking idiot.
I refuse to believe they don’t sell feminine deoderant spray in the UK.
Did anyone read “Even Cowgirls Get The Blues?” I don’t love the writer, but I loved the chant in that book. “The vagina is a self-cleansing organ!” Tis true.
Can we talk about how my vagina is taking over my life? I’m kinda pissed about it.
I was lucky, I guess. I grew up in a plastic bubble and so never saw a douche ad, then they sprung me when I was thirteen for my bas mitzvah, and after that you are considered to be a woman and so not long after, I remember as if it were yesterday, the first boy who saw it said, “It’s so pretty in there!” and I have been expecting that praise ever since and have been consistently rewarded with such.
“It is like a sweet, pink, wet desert that keeps replacing itself the more you eat it.”
–my 11th grade boyfriend
Chilli: You’re joking, right?
Just in case you’re not, I hope you understand that children are extremely sexual beings, which is not to say that they ought to be sexualized, particularly by adults, before they are old enough to handle all of that emotional uranium.
@Unfun: Read the article again. I’m not saying they don’t sell them here, I’m saying that they’re not allowed to advertise them on TV.
Virus: MY BAD! I’m blaming my vagina. I can barely think straight anymore.
@unfun: Are there other women who need, but don’t have the time, to spend 3 hours a day tending their pubes? I’m looking for a career move, and this could be it.
Ya know, it’s funny–I’m thinking about it now, and despite having grown up Orthodox, I can’t remember ever receiving any education which implied sex was bad. The one line I remember from my mom on the topic, when she attempted to have “The Talk” was “sex can be a lot of fun, depending on who you’re having it with.” (I took this to mean she’d had sex with multiple partners, which I later found out to be untrue, so I’m not sure what the lesson was in this since I shut her down before she could finish the thought. I was a squeamish child.)
Virus I actually have one of those “sex wipes” (if they are what i am thinking they are) in my purse right now and I am far from a whore!
@Un: The days when your vagina is taking over and ruining your life really suck. I hope your worthy one is soon adequately serviced so things can run smoothly.
I don’t like women who save themselves bald. You’re not six, for God’s sake. Just keep that bitch trimmed. I don’t want to go through a jungle to get the holy grail.
@StrawberrySexWipe: Fail.
@Virus and LG: Yes, I was just teasing MamaP. Apologies if it came off as dickish, but she and I have a good rapport. Rereading, I should have added a line to be a bit clearer on the jokey tone.
VWS- why fail? I also have a few NYC condoms in there too. Oh and some band aids in case i get a booboo
@Chillbear: Thank JEEBUS for that. *wipes brow*
Alright, here’s the thing with “sex wipes.” First of all, there is very little difference between those, and baby wipes. Just buy baby wipes. It’s a marketing ploy aimed at exploiting womens’ vulnerabilities and making us spend more on something that already exists in the marketplace, and for cheaper.
There is nothing necessarily wrong with baby wipes. We all sweat down there, and we all get that “not so fresh” feeling sometimes, and hey, if we happen to get a worthy booty call and don’t have the time to go home and shower, they could come in handy.
That said, my balance is very sensitive, and I would NEVER use anything like a wipe directly on my cooch. Give the surrounding area a good going over and you should be fine. Because yes, the vagina is self-cleansing.
However, I will attest to the benefits of a rinse post-coitus to guard against the dreaded UTI/yeast infection demons some of us are unlucky enough to suffer from.
In closing, I need to get laid a helluva lot more, and right quick.
I remember my mom telling me all the time that sex was this fantastic thing that you shared with someone you loved who loved you, too. There was no talk of having to be married, as she was fairly with-it, all things considered. It was fun talking to her about sex when I became an adult, although it was usually goofy stuff like admitting I had had sex with this prominent local photographer when I was 19. My mom said, “That’s neat!” ??? I also called her the first time Mr. P lost an erection during sex and was relieved when she said it wasn’t a big deal, just find something else to do. (!!!)
FWIW, I kind of get Chillbear’s reticence to talk about vaginas and surrounding areas and then talk about little girls. I’m sorry, CB, I didn’t mean to ruin the XXX-rated fun, truly. It just got me to thinking about how to raise a girl not to feel funny about her body and such and I’m unstoppable when it comes to talking about my daughter. I’ve mentioned before, I was 21 yrs old before I had an orgasm and this was mostly because I just didn’t know what I had and how it worked. I want to make sure LP knows her body. And with that, no more mommy stories!
@StrawberrySexWipe: Fail? Because Corporate America has told you you need to have a “sex wipe”, and for some reason you believed it and therefore validated their never-ending search to make you feel guilty about something that’s entirely natural, thereby extracting more money from you and others while creating a feedback loop of profitable shame. That’s why.
@Dahl: Even Orthodox Jews, who are very sexually modest, are sexy. It’s like encoded in our DNA. We are an ancient and tenacious people, we have a lot of sex and that is why we are still here.
Virus: I understand where you are coming from with the “sex wipes” thing. But you know how after you are running around all day and maybe your groin has been sweating and your balls stink? Normal healthy ball-stink is fine, but I don’t see the harm in using baby wipes to cleanse the area if you haven’t had the opportunity or time to shower before getting it on. I’m sure that’s what Strawberry is talking about. I dont’ think she’s furiously wiping herself every time she is about to have sex because she thinks she is inherently dirty.
Un & Virus- I am not sure why I have this one. But I do and so it keeps getting switched form purse to purse in case need arises.
@CB: Oops. I was too busy refining my comment to see yours had been explained better. Of course we have a rapport and I know by now that if you’re being mean, you’re really being funny.
Back to vaginas. Is it weird that I’ve always thought it would be arousing to give oral sex to another woman? It is pretty and smells good. I don’t think of it as so much being a lesbian or having lesbian tendencies as I do liking my own body and wanting to see what it’s like to give pleasure to it.
Virus- I don’t think I bought it. I don’t know where it came from. More reasons why I won’t use it EVER!
@Mama P: I used to be sort of addicted to those soft-core skin flicks on Cinemax late at night. They ALWAYS had two women going at it, and it was kind of hot. I don’t think I would be interested, but I can see the appeal.
@BL: A funny thing in Modern Orthodoxy–the one thing that seems fairly universally accepted is “no sex before marriage,” sex meaning actual penis-in-vagina sexual intercourse. I didn’t even hit second base until my senior year of high school, and that wasn’t particularly unusual. But as soon as my friends and I hit college–bam! It took two seconds before we all dropped our clothes to the floor and explored the wild, wonderful, sometimes frustrating world of “everything but.” We Jews really are a horny bunch, aren’t we? But yes, sexy–always sexy!
@MissP: Exactly. I have had a couple of opportunities to be with another woman and at the time, even though I liked both women a lot and found them to be attractive, I just couldn’t get myself to go there. I’m thinking that I like the idea a lot more than I would the practice, which is maybe what you’re saying.
@DahlELama: I think that it’s a cultrual thing. Priests (some types) don’t marry and rabbis do, so within Jewish and gentile cultures there are different viewpoints.
Also, because of the Talmud’s excessive discussions of sexual matters boys/men can’t be kept in the dark. These discussions are always very frank and matter of fact and so it does not create any negative feelings. This applies to girls/women in more modern times since they have begun to study it as well.
@Dahl; @UO:
Best Yiddish word for “vagina”: di mayse, or “the story.”
What a beautiful story you just told me.
http://www.tabletmag.com/life-and-religion/11883/terms-of-endearment/
Great SS I’m defending you for no fucking reason! I’m still a fan of baby wipes for surprise booty calls and no I don’t use them in my vag. Hey they also work in armpits! It’s a portable shower for ladies on the go.
I got a booty call at 5am last night. no joke. I wa half asleep and looked like shit and sadly had to decline.
UNfun- thanks for having my back. I carry a few dyer sheets for that reason. my hair gets fuzzy easy and the calm it down and make my clothing smell like I haven’t been out all night.
@UO: Sex is definitely considered a good thing in Judaism by all accounts, as long as you’re married and the woman is not in niddah. It’s more the “less traditional” acts of sex, like oral and anal, which come up for question. I remember in my Kallah class learning something–I think it was Mishneh Torah–in which Rambam says you can pretty much do anything, and then, in the very next line, says “oh wait, actually, don’t,” which obviously gets pretty confusing.
And it’s not just the Talmud–even the Tanakh itself discusses certain matters frankly enough that you can’t really leave them out of education once a kid hits 6th or 7th grade. Think about the first time you learned about exactly what happened to Dina, or why Achashverosh was so pissed when he came back from the courtyard. Every lesson about shifchat zerah or things related to being a betulah force the issue of sexual discussion, but real, honest information about the joy of sex often doesn’t come until chassan/kallah classes, which is kind of sad.
SS: Dryer sheets? Ok there I can’t help you. WTF?
I’m going to write a follow up about blowjobs. Just because I wanna talk about them. Seeing as to how I haven’t been giving very many…
@unfun: [boing]
Um, baby wipes smell like, you know, FUCKING BABIES. That is the last smell that would interest me were I to eat at the Y.
Dahl,
I think the “less traditional” acts of sex are only up for question to the “more traditional” people.
Regarding Rambam I’ve always believed he was an anything goes kind of guy. Not sure about his reversal as you’ve indicated.
The part of Rambam that I do remember (very well) is his essay about shifchat zerah. He takes the whole hair on palm and blind road. Interestingly there is a responsa in Igrot Moshe in which the author wrote that Rambam is obvioulys mistaken as 99.99% of men do not have hair on their palms. Rambam was obviouly wrong and just creating fear, but I still found the Igrot Moshe surprising (he didn’t address Rambam directly).
Of course, my study of this topic was purely academic.
Re betulah, I remember in 11th grade my school was producing a video to show at the annual dinner. We were studying Ketubot that year where the above mentioned topic is found. The principal came into our classroom to tell us that under no circumstances is anyone to mention the word “blood” while the video camera is in our classroom.
Re the joys of sex, you’re right and it is an absolute shame.
Shut it, Helman. You can get unscented. And I’m not saying use it in the vadge. Surrounding…areas.
This debate is really dumb.
So yeah one thing that fascinates me is vaginal elasticity. I always like to think I’m really tight (and so I’ve been told).
OVERSHARE OF THE YEAR!!!!!!! *********** WINNER!!!!!!!!!!!! *****************
Thank you, Virus! This was educationa, funny, and entertaining all at the same time. My vagina is sadly very lonely these days. I take good care of her though……….:)
Great article….but it doesn’t have much meat to it.
Now shut up and grab my head and bury it between your thighs.
That made me hot.
@monkeyrash: I just noticed that you wrote the 69-th comment.
I was lucky, because my mom and older sister always told me that douching was really bad for you, so I never felt compelled to do it. But seriously, there aren’t douche ads in the UK?
Also, this post is pretty hot.
@monkeyrash: meant to add: that must be good luck or something.
If anyone needs me I’ll be swimming to Scotland.
I too haz teh angries. Bravo, Virus. I could not agree more. Pussies ROCK!
Wow. Virus really wasn’t pussyfooting around, was he?
@uncivil: I certainly hope so.
@Bjonston: Eww, feet are gross.
@BL: Also, I’m not leaving ’til I get the whole story.
When I was in the Arab world I shared my fascination with the very forbidden pudenda of the (thoroughly adult) women to whom I taught English. It was forbidden both because it was Arab pussy, and also because I was married. My friend, however, was single. He said I’d be mostly disappointed if I was enthusiastic about giving oral sex because most of the girls he’d dated had been made too ashamed of their snatches to enjoy getting head. For shame.
Nom nom nom.
ROTFLMFAO!!!!!
I’m angry at mine this week because those things are high maintenance. Antibiotics alone will just do horrible things to the lady ecosystem. Other than that I’ve put her on a nice long vacation while I work on my self-esteem issues because I’m sick of deadbeat dudes.
For me the real offense is waxing vags to look nearly prepubescent. Not only does it strike me as a bit disturbing – it’s only “normal” because we’ve seen it so often in porn – but that can’t be good for the vagina. Hair is put on our bodies to keep contaminants out of delicate areas. Trimming the hedge is great, but don’t uproot the whole thing.
Vox: Sorry to hear about the antibiotic disruption to your nether ecosystem. Your comment about hair reminds me of an all-out bushwhacking I took a while back over at the G website when they posted some gorgeous nudie pics of Madonnawicz, (back when she was young and hairy). I was, like, the only guy in the bunch who was saying she looked HOT. SOme people where like bitching and moaning about how gross is was that she had a hairy bush. IMHO the ladies should cut it out with the fucking Brazilian waxing bullshit. Funny thing is I distinctly remember a time when I thought the hairless pudenda was hot, back in the late nineties. But then, more recently, I’ve come to realize that a nice healthy bush on a nice healthy woman is the only way to go. Whoah. Just popped a stiffy thinking about bushy pudendas. Gotta go.
Oh, yeah – I remember that Madonna picture. She looked amazing. I thought she could have done a little maintenance, but it was way better to see the hairy nethers rather than some plucked-chicken-looking sex organ there. Back then people just had hair there and that was it, period, I think.
@Wences: I’m stuck in a staring contest with the guy on the left. I think he’s stealing my soul.
Vox, he’s the one who REALLY knows how to please a lady. His brother just kind of goes through the motions.
@Senor: Tho fellas sound like a pair of cunning linguists!
I had no idea they had “sex wipes” out there these days! Weird! Wonderful rant, btw. This should be required reading for women who are struggling with shame issues.
Great, now I’m totally horny. With no man around.
Helman: Agreed, baby wipes have no place in the sexy time. I had a boyfriend pull out a bag of baby wipes from under the bed and pass it to me after the deed once. I unclimaxed. Even as a mother, the last thing I want to be reminded of in that moment is pregnancy and innocent babies. Gawd, and there was a shower ten feet away. Fucking quit it with the wipes and just concentrate on the fucking, okay? The shower will take care of the rest.