It’s One Of Those Squirrel Eating Ice Cream Mondays
Published: July 13, 2009
In the future dogs will be the preferred form of transportation. In the future trees will be given the vote. In the future your idiot lanterns won’t feature professionally constructed and narrated footage of animals doing animal things, like 14 zebras stalking and trash-talking a horse that picked the wrong day to choose a wrong turn after taking incomplete directions from a Labrador carrying an account executive to his work. No. In the future “Animal Planet”, the “Discovery Channel” and “Shark Bite 24″ and associated channels will simply show user content shot on a range of cellphones overlaid with giggling.
Yes, I just wrote and you just read 98 words of nonsense so I could introduce footage of a squirrel eating ice cream, then stealing a cone.
It’s one of those squirrel eating ice cream Mondays.
(In other news, I just heard about this. Which probably means nothing to you, as you more than likely don’t know who he is, but I remember him scoring a goal against Liverpool in the UEFA cup competition in 2005 that will always be with me, forever.)
If you take out a few adjectives you could post it in the open Micro-Fiction this week. Of course, where would we be without the adjectives.
Is his name Nutty the Squirrel and can he waterski? I swear I’ve seen him before.
@SfBirdie: No. His name is Anthony Hitler and all I know about him is that he’s a Capricorn.
Sir? Goddamn, the queen must really be losing it if she’s knighting squirrels now.
My son has named the three (he is convinced there are only three) squirrels in our yard Burl, Earl and Shirl and he feeds them half his dinner whenever he can. Rats with tails will eat anything.
That chick’s voice makes me want to do this, though:
http://sleevage.com/the-mothers-of-invention-weasels-ripped-my-flesh/
This was a good story! The video was fine too, but it was the writing that especiallly cheered me up. The squirrells in our yard are not so tame. Whenever they see us, they scream “eek, the monsters!” and run up the tree. I think they just do this to amuse themselves, because they sit and watch us putting down foods for birds every single day without pouncing on anybody.