Today’s Hate Mail From Dennis And June White
Published: July 04, 2009
Hooray for the First Amendment! Yes, it’s little things like that that allow Wordsmoker’s GLORIOUS New York SERVER to publish articles asking pertinent questions like “WHO WRITES SARAH PALIN’S RIDICULOUS BRAINFUCKING SPEECHES IS IT HER FUCKING GRANDSON TRIPPY OR TUFTY OR TURGID OR WHATEVER THE FUCK THE BUCKET OF SNOWBILLY CHROMOSOMES IS CALLED? OR DOES SHE JUST NOTE DOWN WHATEVER MESSAGES BRISTOL GETS ON HER OUIJA BOARD FROM A DEAD FRENCH AIRMAN CALLED MAURICE?”
It’s questions like this that fill my sick mind up like so many dead turkeys in a hopper on Thanksgiving Day in Alaska. And sometimes these turkey-hopper questions bubble up and I ask “Hey, Sarah’s on the electric TV here, babbling away like the Feds are just around the corner, yes, the corner you can just see beyond the twelve people watching her resignation speech while the seabirds squawk in unison like Keith Olbermann’s kidneys as they pass a gay bar at happy hour” (I have no idea what this means, btw).
Okay. So I did write something scathing-ish yesterday, asking if the jumble of not-of-this-earth sentences pouring out of Sarah’s petulant little snowblowing mouth were actually written by poor little Trump Tripp Trap Trig Palin using his crayons or the magnetic letters on adorable Sarah’s fridge while he was on an Olbermann-esque bender.
Dennis and June White didn’t like it. One bit. The evidence:
Yes. Instead of spending time explaining their problem with the post (which was picked up by some wingnutty sites, so I’m guessing that’s where they found it) or even asking for an apology for something which I guess was close to the bone (much like the bones of a turkey meeting steel blades in a hopper), they just went with the old classic (and I quote)
you are all just small pieces of shit!
As much as I enjoy reading feedback, Dennis and June White, I have to disagree. We are not “just small pieces of shit.”
We are stardust.
I apologise if the post upset you, Dennis and June White. That wasn’t my intention. It was more an attempt to get behind the word-mangling that Sarah Palin -- an adult who currently holds the post of governor in Alaska and who ran for the post of Vice President of the United States of America last year - deployed during her resignation speech in front of squawky seabirds and varying degrees of family members, some of which may have been related to her.
Let’s do a deal. The day Sarah Palin stops using Triangle Triptychs Tryptophan Trig Palin as part of her personal campaign to enhance the goals behind her narcissistic personality complex, I will too.
Deal?
No one ever sent me hate mail for my tentacle porn post. That’s okay, I didn’t want any anyway, I guess. (shuffles, kicks rock)
@BRB: I did call you “a sick fucking fuck”, but I was out in the garden at the time and I don’t think you heard me.
Apologies!
xoxo
I’ll have Dennis and June White know that I am NO small piece of shit. I am a massive turd circling the toilet bowl of life, Mr. and Mrs. White, and DON’T YOU FORGET IT.
I re-wrote a joke I heard and included Bristol, The New York Yankees, Gov. Palin, a snowmobile– eeks! I meant a snow machine: they hate it when you call it a snowmobile–and all her children whose names begin with a T. Here is the punchline: “The Aristocrats!”
@Bell: Ahahahahhaha! Does Bob Saget discuss eye sockets of opportunity?
They have a joint email account? Automatic losers.
Also, we get hate mail now? We’ve made it, baby!
Virus: Congrats on the hate mail! I’m with Vox on this one: We’ve made it!
Now that Wordsmoker has the ear of the insane right wing, it’s time to shoot for that proverbial “next level,” you know, with posts about metaphorically dangling John McCain’s car keys above shoulder height or pushing Charles Krauthammer down the stairs! Metaphorically!
Dennis And June White: Please, join us. Kick your feet up. Stay a while. Submit 20 things about yourselves. We’d love to have you.
I get the impression that June White quite likes Wordsmoker’s style, and Dennis is holding her back somewhat. She added in the exclamation mark to soften the blow a tad, he decided to not capitalise because of that incident with e.e.cummings in 1986.
Emancipate yourself, June!! We’ll be here for you.