N. Korea Treats US To Fireworks For 4th, Fo Shizzle
Published: July 04, 2009
The cute little dictator that could, Kim Jong-il, in what can only be construed as an attempt to show America, “Hey, we like your style and your many, many celebratory explosives,” has emulated America in the only way North Korea could: test firing 7 ballistic missiles.
In continuation of the emulation, Jong-il cracked a bottle of Hennessy, imitating some of his favorite American hip-hop artists. Jong-il has long been a fan of American hip-hop music, culture and fashion; he reportedly gets his hairstyle inspiration from MC Hammer, one of his favorite artists.
Jong-il’s gangsta cred is something he holds near and dear, and his Hennessey budget is world renown, reportedly spending over $700,000 per year on the Cognac. The average yearly wage in North Korea is $762. Spending nearly 1000 times your nations yearly wage just on booze? Straight up gangsta.
Here’s a vid of Jong-il’s shout out to the American O.G.’s who gave this country it’s best amendment, the 2nd amendment:
I’d like to launch my long-range missile into Natalie Allen!
Yeah, there was speculation that North Korea would do this on July 4. Why does Kim Jong Il have to act like a petulant teenager anyway – like, “I’ll show them!”.
I mean, our former president did for eight years, but we finally got rid of him.
Also, that news clip is just crying out for some autotune.
Kim Jong-il is most definitely a ‘Short-ay!’ I love me some auto-tuned news.