Celebrity Shame: Tuesday 6th January
Published: January 06, 2009
Welcome to the latest edition of Celebrity Shame, where we round up the latest gossip floating around the web which others copied from other blogs rounding up the latest gossip to come out of celebrity blogs read in on-set trailers by bored personal assistants talking to each other in chat-rooms about celebrities which certain frequently copied gossip blogs recently highlighted on E! and other celebrity gossip blogs on the web I have no soul left celebrity gossip please shoot blog me for making me cover this celebrity no kill me I gossip mean it on a blog about the hottest celebrity gossip!
1. He Blows His Own Horn: Which A-list actor wants to do a buddy-movie with a trumpet? This high-flying hunk has recently learned how to play the trumpet to a passable degree, and is now so infatuated with his “little brass friend” that he’s now badgering his agent to get him and his trumpet teamed up together on the big-screen in a cop movie where the trumpet plays his rookie sidekick and the criminal mastermind is a South-African, drug-smuggling oboe.
2. Slip Sliding Away: Which rap star was so overwhelmed by the scenes involving the Silver Surfer in the latest Fantastic Four movie that he gets his entourage to maintain a virtual ice slide from his Escalade to the door of his recording studio? An opaque tube of perspex, 10 foot in diameter and 30 foot in length, reaches from the curb to the studio door, and is kept just below freezing by the use of fourteen diesel generators running 24/7.
3. The Right Ingredients For Pain: Which Top TV Chef likes his balls smacked between two crepe pans? This fiery individual has a penchant for getting his testes mauled by a selection of kitchen utensils, excluding his own-name brand “for health reasons”. This sexy chef caught our attention back in 2007, when he was admitted to Cedars Sinai with a food blender inserted into his rectum. He was unapologetic then, and fully admitted to “trying to whisk his prostate gland just to see what would happen”.
Leave your guesses in the comments as usual!
Oooh, for number two, it’s that dude with the completely unpronounceable and unspellable name, right? Or perhaps Jessica Alba, who can surf my silver any day.
3 is totally Gordon Ramsay.
I have no idea who #3 is, but this is just hysterically funny.
#3: Bobby Flay?
Julie Child is right out, I know that much
I would’ve guessed Jeremy Piven for #1 but is he really considered “A-list”?
God, do you people not read the items first or what? # 3 is obviously Jacques Pepin.
and #2, sometimes they write “he” when they mean “she” just to through you off. It’s Lil Kim.
#1, high flying hunk gives it all away. It’s Will Smith who played Hancock. Hello?
I see the through. And I’ll give you a throw as well. Just for the fun fuck of it.
#1 He cruised to great heights in Topless Gum, here we present everyone’s favorite Thetan, Mr. Tom, the talking horse. His beloved musical instrument is rumored to be expecting Tom’s chili this fall.
Once coffee is imbibed I shall wish to delete this.
CurlyP: I wished to delete mine immediately after seeing it – this was, of course, pre-caffeine.
1. Denzel Washington
2. L. L. Cool J.
3. Emeril (Clearly. Why do you think he started saying “Bam!”)
I want to guess but I don’t have any idea about the 3 blind items. I just check the answer after the guessing:)…I will check who are they.